Food & Drink

Cooked It: How To Make A HSP At Home

By Millie Lester - 17 Apr 2017


​Ok so we’ve heard your cries of ‘not another cocktail recipe puh-lease, I can’t keep buying bottles of rosé at Thirsty Camel because I keep running into people I know and it’s destroying my public image’, and we’ve returned with a recipe that’ll have your friends crowning you ‘Overlord of Our Social Clique For The Foreseeable Future or Until Felicia Gets Her Friggin Boat License’ before the day is through.

This lil’ numba is a three-part recipe because life isn’t easy and the sooner you wake-up to that reality, the sooner people will stop commenting “twelve ingredients?? get stuffed” on our articles. So don’t be deterred by the list of foodstuffs because at the end of the day this is still just a box of hot chips with meaty sauce. You got this, galfran.

Ingredients

Marinated Grilled Chicken

  • 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
  • 1 lemon (for juicin’)
  • 3 garlic cloves (for crushin’)
  • 1 tbsp smoked paprika
  • 1 tbsp ground cumin
  • 2 tbsp fresh flat leaf parsley (for finely choppin’)
  • 1 tsp black pepper
  • 4 chicken breasts

Garlic Sauce

  • 1 cup mayonnaise
  • 2 garlic cloves (again, for crushin’)
  • 2 tbsp fresh squeezed lemon juice
  • 1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
  • Pinch of salt
  • Pinch of black pepper

Snack Pack Assembly

  • 500g oven bake chips, deep fried or baked
  • 1 1/2 cup grated cheese
  • As needed, Marinated Grilled Chicken (see recipe)
  • As needed, smoky BBQ sauce
  • As needed, sriracha or chili sauce
  • As needed, Garlic Sauce (see recipe)

Method

Marinated Grilled Chicken

  1. Log onto Habbo Hotel and check if the twelve-year ban you (wrongly) received in 2005 for ‘orchestrating an elaborate trading scheme’ has been lifted (I’VE DONE MY WAITING, TWELVE YEARS OF IT).
  2. Pop to the shops to “pick up your ingredients” a.k.a. cash in on all the discounted Easter eggs stacked thirteen boxes high in the pet food aisle (??).
  3. Return home and begin combining the marinade ingredients. Once deliciously interweaved, transfer the marinade to a zip-lock bag, add the chickie filets, close the bag and give it a good ol’ roughhousing (‘tumble’) to coat them with marinade. Refrigerate overnight.
  4. Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, grab your oven bake chips, head out the door and then come back in because you haven’t baked the chippies yet, y’fool! Follow the baking instructions on the chip bag.
  5. Remove the phreshly marinated chicken filets, discard the remaining marinade and grill the chicken over medium heat for 5 to 6 minnies on each side or until fully cooked, then let them cool for a lil’ min.
  6. Slice the grilled chicken diagonally and chop roughly into bite size pieces (or whatever size you enjoy your HSP chicken to be, it’s a free country).

Garlic Sauce

  1. Now, bare with me ‘coz we’re about to get a bit saucey. Combine the sauce ingredients in a small bowl and whisk them until they’re blended. You can then transfer the sauce to a squeeze bottle if that’ll help you sleep better at night/stop you getting garlic sauce on your white jeans.

Snack Pack Assembly

  1. Layer those hawt chips you were cooking in a shallow ‘sharable’ (lol) container, then top those bad bois with grated cheese and marinated grilled chicken pieces.
  2. Drizzle BBQ sauce, sriracha sauce and garlic sauce over the top of the snack pack and Instagram with the caption #weloveyoupauline.

Want to make something else? Check out all of our other recipes here.

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