Funny

20 Things You Didn’t Know Your Barista Thinks About You

By Emily St John - 01 Sep 2018

So you’re firmly attracted to your barista. No? Ok, just us then.

Nevertheless, we understand the special relationship between a person and their purveyor of caffeine. It’s intense. But have you ever thought about what they’re thinking on their end?

We understand that coffee isn’t just a daily treat—it’s a lifeline. And so does ANZ, who have brought hospitality business owners and baristas the cutting edge ANZ BladePay™ device, which together with the right POS vendor app, can help to speed up the payment process. Now you can spend more time drinking your coffee and chatting with your barista… (still just us?).

Here’s 20 things you probably didn’t realise your barista is thinking while they brew your morning cuppa…

Wish you could get your coffee quicker? Well, you could with ANZ BladePay™.

 

Posted by The Urban List on Wednesday, October 10, 2018


“You’re being difficult.”

Nine times out of ten your coffee order is over complicated. Please stop.

“Hot chocolate isn’t coffee.”

Two people walk up, one orders a cappuccino, the other says, “Oh, maybe I’ll get one too. *Insanely long pause* …One hot chocolate please!”

“You’re ruining your coffee with sugar.”

Don’t order a long black if you’re going to add three sugars so you can stomach the taste.

“Get off your phone.”

You’re in line to order, not chat. Hang up now or your coffee will have a ‘special ingredient’.

“This isn’t Starbucks.”

We don’t have whipped cream or obscene cup sizes.

“Extra hot? Do you mean burnt?”

Don’t act surprised when your tongue is blistered.

“Tea? Couldn’t you just make that at home?”

You just paid the same amount for one cup as you would for a box of tea sachets.

“It’s espresso, not Nespresso and definitely not expresso.”

If you don’t know how to say it, odds are you won’t like it. And no, there are no refunds.

“If you order anything but an espresso or ristretto I’m probably judging you.”

You’re impressing no one with your ‘double shot half vanilla latte with extra froth and sprinkles’.

“You just ordered a skim latte and a slice of cheesecake. Very healthy.”

Just get full fat. It won’t kill you, but that week-old cheesecake might.

“I couldn’t hear your name, so by default your name is Andy.”

Solid, gender-less name. Chances are your name is Andy.

“I’m going to bet your name isn’t Princess Consuela.”

If you’re going to make up a name, make it believable and easy to write on a coffee lid.

“You’re getting decaf.”

I’m thinking this 97% of the time if you’re being difficult.

“I’m in a relationship.”

Stop flirting with me.

“I’m single, but this isn’t a bar.”

I’m working. I’m only smiling back at you to be polite. 

“It’s busy, please be patient.”

I know you’re in a rush, but so are the other 50 people in line.

“If you don’t know what Single Origin is, you won’t like it.”

Don’t ask me to explain, it’s fruity and all you want is a hit of caffeine.

“Please stop talking to me.”

Don’t you get annoyed when people talk to you in the middle of work?

“I don’t have change for $100, this isn’t a bank and that coffee is $4.”

Surely you can tap and go?

“I haven’t had my coffee yet.”

I can’t deal with you right now.

For more great content, check out the ANZ BladePay™ hub here.

This article is proudly sponsored by ANZ and written and endorsed by The Urban List. Thank you for supporting the sponsors who make The Urban List possible. To find out more about who we work with and why, check out our editorial policy here.

Disclaimer: Eligibility criteria, terms and conditions, fees and charges apply to ANZ BladePay™ and third party apps developed by POS vendors. Use and potential benefits of ANZ BladePay™ require an app built by a POS vendor with appropriate functionality. ANZ is not responsible for apps developed by third parties.

Our best stories, direct to your inbox, helping you to out-trend your mates every weekend...

You May Also Like