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36 Things That Will Definitely Happen On Real Housewives Of Sydney

By Anna May - 23 Feb 2017

real housewives of sydney

It’s almost here, guys. So close we can almost taste the stilettos, side-eyes, and cocktail-fuelled fights. That’s right; Real Housewives Of Sydney is coming. And we can’t even pretend we’re not beside ourselves with excitement, so strong it’s dripping out of our visible pores. Yes, it’s a little tacky. But we all know there was a collective sense of FOMO when the Melbourne ladies got to have all the fun. Step aside, girls, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. In honour of the joy these women are going to bring upon our lives this year, here are 36 very official predictions for the show. Shall we make it into a drinking game? Yes we should

  1. First and foremost: the ladies will frequently lunch at Vine Double Bay.
  2. Inevitably one of the women will be nervous to see the other, so she’ll skip it and go to Sake instead.
  3. Then they’ll all get drunk, go to Pelicano for a boogie, run into each other, and shit will get real.
  4. They’ll meet at Indigo the next day for a chat.
  5. And it. Will. Be. On.
  6. One of them will try to drive off in a huff, but will get stuck in traffic.
  7. Someone will throw a turmeric latte in someone else’s face.
  8. No harm done, though. Because botox.
  9. One of them will be launching an active wear brand.
  10. One of them will have a secret friend that gets them perfectly green avocados from the black market.
  11. Someone will sincerely ask what a cockroach is.
  12. There will be shots of them bitching about each other while doing the Bondi to Bronte walk.
  13. And browsing Tuchuzy.
  14. Then dropping a casual $2k on vegan dog biscuits and responsibly knitted mini cardigans at Dogue.
  15. One of them will have a few of the girls to her Palm Beach pad.
  16. The ones who weren’t invited will be angry, so they’ll go for lunch at North Bondi Fish to debrief.
  17. They’ll absolutely get drunk and go surprise their daughters at Casablanca.
  18. Then end up taking selfies with the girls in bunny suits.
  19. Someone will get a dent in their Range Rover because she was in a text war and missed the lights on Military Road.
  20. One of them will have an Insta-famous dog.
  21. The dog will have #ad posts for doggy Frosè.
  22. There will absolutely be a scene with one of them in their therapist’s office.
  23. They’ll all go on a girls trip to Byron Bay. Y’know, to de-stress.
  24. Where they will swim in a pool full of inflatable swans and drink rosè.
  25. Someone will push another in, getting her very expensive bikini and kaftan wet.
  26. A fight will kick off.
  27. One of them will go apartment hunting with their child.
  28. They’ll try to teach their child a lesson about working hard, so they’ll slum it in a penthouse a few streets back from Manly Beach.
  29. There will be an awkward silence when someone uses regular Uber instead of Black.
  30. They’ll spend a day lounging around a pool in Mosman.
  31. But the blaring sun will quickly turn to torrential rain and they’ll have to move the party to the undercover dining area.
  32. If God exists, the women will spend a day at the races. And everything will start off great.
  33. But Champagne will be popped, and lipstick will smear, and tensions will run high.
  34. Then it will kick off in the pink stretch hummer. Before someone makes a peace offering by suggesting they get Mary’s burgers.
  35. One, though. Which they will evenly split.
  36. Someone will have a toy boy with a man bun. And he will introduce her to the North Bondi Grassy Knoll.

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Image credit: Real Housewives Of Sydney

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