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Horoscopes | Your Co(s)mic Week Ahead

By Tayla Rabie - 26 Mar 2018

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Professor Trelawney has nothing on us when it comes to the art of divination. The Seer’s at the Urban List have performed some serious crystal ball readings and man oh man, do we have some doozeys in store for us... 

Mentally prepare yourself, because here’s what you’re *really* in for this week.

Aquarius

This week calls for some serious appreciation, Aquarius. You’ve been taking your loved ones for granted lately, and it’s time to show them how much you care. Cook up a storm and invite your family and friends over to lunch­– or just UberEats it, they’ll never know.

Pisces

Your luck isn’t about to bail on you just yet, lil’ Pisces. This is the week to take a step out of your comfort zone–you won’t regret it. Muster up your courage and ask that hot guy from gym out for drinks… confidence is sexy in a woman.

Aries

MAFS finale week had your full attention last week, didn’t it? Chuck your phone on ‘do not disturb’ and get cracking on that massive pile of work you’ve let build up. No regrets.

Taurus

We’ve had enough of your sass, Taurus. Take a step down from that pedestal you’ve put yourself on, dig your feet in the dirt and start getting grounded. Okay, maybe you can skip the dirt part…

Gemini

Unsure if that’s smudged mascara or huge-ass bags under your eyes. Concentrate on getting a full eight hours of uninterrupted sleep every night and give your concealer a much-needed break.   

Cancer

Okay, it’s enough. Stop wallowing in self-pity and get out of that toxic mindset. First things first–hop off the couch and pop into the shower and get soapy… because damn you smell nasty. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back out there!

Leo

Boy, oh, boy– are the stars lining up for you. All that hard work and perseverance you’ve put in have FINALLY paid off. You deserve a good treat yo’self sesh. Our suggestion? Leo vs. a pint of cookies and cream ice-cream… who will win?

Virgo

You’re well on your way to being on an episode of ‘Hoarders’ soon, Virgo. Do you really need that aeroplane ticket to Spain when you were ten? We think not. What about that computer from 2001 that you haven’t turned on in twelve years? Back up those embarrassing photos then get rid of it. You need a serious #cleanse.

Libra

You’ve let your relationship take centre stage lately. Get those bottles of red at the ready, design an Insta-worthy cheese platter and call up your mates–it’s time for girl’s night.

Scorpio

Winter is coming, our warm-blooded little Scorpio’s. Do you know what that means? A new winter wardrobe, or let’s be real…floordrobe. Whip out those credit cards, and go on a Paywave frenzy for warm knitted jumpers and some more torn jeans. We’re just waiting for nan’s comment.

Sagittarius

Been feeling a little lost lately, haven’t you? Breathe in… and out. Take up relaxation meditation and Yoga to help centre your mind and body. De-stress and find yourself again.

Capricorn

Your fear of rejection has been getting in the way of your life, Cap. It’s time to face your fears. Lean in for that kiss and apply for your dream job, because you gotta risk it to get the biscuit.

Image credit: Gabrielle Stjernqvist

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