When it comes to food challenges, we consider ourselves quite the experts—and for good reason. The first being that we love to eat, (like, really love to eat. Not sure if you’ve noticed…) and have zero self-control when food is involved. Basically, we treat every meal like a food challenge and are always on the lookout for our next big test. Enter: The Schnitzelmeister.
Calling Munich Brauhaus and Bavarian Bier Café home, the Schnitzelmeister is a 1kg veal schnitzel. The rules are simple. All you have to do is down the schnitzel (and four sides) in one hour, and if you succeed (which of course you will. We believe in you.) you’ll get the whole thing for free, along with a Schnitzelmeister t-shirt and eternal glory in The Schnitzelmeister Hall of Fame.
Because we don’t want you going in blind, we’re giving you all of our hot tips on how to not only nail the challenge, but also have room for dessert. Because dessert stomachs are a real thing.
#1 Choose The Right Cheer Squad
Choosing the right people to cheer you on is going to be your most important decision going into the challenge. Select the wrong people (doubters, haters, dieters) and you’ll be on a slippery slope towards failure, but with the right people in your corner this will be a cakewalk. You know the friend who convinced you that skinny-dipping in your neighbour’s pool at 4am after a big night out was a great idea? That’s the person you need cheering you on.
#2 Don’t Drink Water, Drink Beer
This one might sound a little bit counterintuitive, what with the filling nature of our favourite summer bevvy, but you need to throw all of that negativity out the window. You’ve already taken on the task of tackling The Schnitzelmeister, so really, what’s the harm in throwing a couple of steins into the mix? We’d even argue that if you don’t wash it down with beer, then did you really conquer the challenge? No one else will know, but YOU will know, and isn’t that the only thing that matters when it’s all said and done and the schnitzel crumb has settled?
#3 Pick Your Time: Happy Hour Is From 4pm–6pm
Taking on this challenge at happy hour is crucial for a couple of reasons. If you’re taking it on alone, then it’s only fair that your cheer squad takes advantage of the $5 craft bier, house wine, spirits, and refreshing lychee cocktail. Secondly, refer to our previous point re: a necessary beer—if you do this challenge sober, we’re not friends. There are also $1 wings crucial for keeping your cheer squad entertained.
#4 Strategically Starve In Preparation
There’s a bit more to this one than not eating lunch on the day of and since we’re the experts in overeating we consider ourselves an authority on food challenge prep. Firstly, you want to spend the week before stuffing yourself silly to really stretch out that stomach and make room for the schnitzel. Then you want to starve yourself the day of—but only a little bit. We aren’t suggesting that you eat nothing beforehand, but a light lunch is crucial to up your hunger levels. You want to embrace that schnitzel with open arms. You’ll thank us for it later.
#5 Nail Your Outfit
This one is pretty basic, but consider it your official reminder— wear stretchy pants. For obvious reasons, you’ll want some breathing room while taking on The Schnitzelmeister. It’ll help you avoid embarrassing yourself in public with the 100% necessary move of unbuttoning your pants at the dinner table. We’ve all been there.
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Image credit: Claudia Shmueli