A Useful Resource On How To Support Yourself And Those Around You Right Now

Despite being in the business of putting words together for a living, it’s hard to find any combination that does justice to the pain and suffering caused by the horrifying attack on Bondi Beach last weekend. 

The impact of such awful acts of terror and violence is unfathomably far-reaching. And whether you were there, live nearby, have loved ones who were affected, or watched it on the news, you probably have a cocktail of emotions swirling through your brain and body right now. 

It’s totally understandable, and you’re not alone.

Bianca Glajz, a Clinical Psychologist at The Balanced Mind, has been inundated with clients who are struggling since the weekend’s events.

“People are in a state of confusion about how they feel and how they think they should feel,” she says. “They’re experiencing fear, anger, sadness, shock, and even disassociation — a range of emotions that most of us aren’t used to feeling to this level of extremity and complexity.”

She also says that the best reaction we can have is to band together. “We need to strengthen our community and show that we all love each other, especially when it’s a political act designed to divide people.”

So, whether you’re struggling yourself or want to know how best to support those around you, we’ve put together some tips from Bianca and the team at Urban List to help you navigate this incredibly challenging situation.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

“People tend to invalidate themselves,” says Bianca. “They think, ‘I didn’t get shot or lose someone, so I have no right to feel like this.’”

But, to quote another very wise source (the reindeer from Frozen 2), “you feel what you feel, and those feelings are real.” 

If you’re scared, anxious, tearful, angry, numb, or all of the above and then some, those feelings are 100% valid. Even if you don’t feel ready to talk to someone about them, at least give yourself the time and space to feel them.

“Emotions just are,” says Bianca. There’s no such thing as a right or wrong feeling. You can have contradictory emotions happening simultaneously, and there’s no linear timeline either. We can only work on how we respond to our feelings — not fix or change, just help and soothe.”

2. Check In On Loved Ones

“People get anxious about asking how others are, or assume they don’t want to talk. Don’t hesitate — always check in. Even if you don’t get anything back, just check in.”

Whether it’s in person, over the phone, or by text, let your loved ones know that you are there for them. Don’t push if they’re not ready to talk, but let them know that they can if they want to. And, if they do open up, try to listen without minimising their suffering or attempting to ‘fix’ things.

If they were directly affected by the attacks, they may be eligible for help from the NSW Government’s Victim Support Scheme.

3. Spend Time With Others

“Connection is one of the biggest healers. A lot of healing can also happen by relating to others who have been traumatised.”

Terrorists want to divide us by instilling fear and hate. So now more than ever is the time for solidarity and social connection. If your loved ones don’t feel up to attending events or crowded places just yet, that’s understandable, but try to encourage them to socialise in general, even if it’s just with family or friends at home.

“It’s also ok to enjoy things a bit. Don’t push away normal acts of pleasure and leisure — you need that normality for healing.”

4. Limit Social Media And News Consumption

Staying informed is important, but watching an endless loop of traumatic images and consuming strong opinions online can repeatedly trigger the nervous system’s fight or flight response. So, try to resist the urge to scroll or forward content to others without considering the mental health impact.

“Anything’s good until it’s not. If doing it helps you feel connected and get more facts, that can be OK. But the moment you start to feel emotionally worse, that’s the line. Take a break.”

If you see disturbing footage or content that you believe should not be circulated, you can report it here.

5. Know How To Spot The Signs That Someone Is Struggling

It’s natural to feel a range of emotions after a traumatic event. You may feel anxious, scared, or even exhausted in the aftermath of the Bondi Beach attack. 

But, if these feelings persist and you or your loved ones experience ongoing or worsening issues like sleep issues, anxiety, and problems concentrating, it’s worth checking in with a mental health expert. Withdrawal is also a big sign to look out for — especially if someone is behaving very differently or deviating from their usual routines.

“It’s different for everyone, especially someone who is grieving or deeply traumatised. But, as a general rule of thumb, if you notice any long-standing personality or behavioural changes that persist after a month, it may be a good idea to get professional help.”

6. Be Kind

While it’s easy to be angry and assign blame, now is the time to show love and support to all of those who have been affected by this tragedy—including both the Jewish and Muslim communities. 

You can learn more about how to navigate antisemitism via Jewish House and sign the NSW Government’s Online Condolence Book. You can also donate to a range of different heroes and victims of the Bondi Beach attacks via GoFundMe and other crowdfunding websites.

7. Get Professional Support

There are several organisations available to support you during this traumatic time, including: 

• Mental Health Line—1800 011 511
• Lifeline—13 11 14 or chat online
• Beyond Blue—1300 22 46 36 or chat online
• Griefline for grief and loss support—1300 845 745 (7 days, 8am-8pm)
• Transcultural Mental Health Line (in-language support)—1800 648 911
• Kids Helpline (youth support)—1800 55 1800 or chat online 
• 13YARN ( Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander crisis support)—13 92 76 
• Headspace—1800 650 890 
• ReachOut— au.reachout.com
• QLife (LGBTIQ+ peer support)—1800 184 527 or chat online (3pm-midnigh)
• Jewish Care—1300133660
• Jewish House 24/7 Crisis line—93860770 or 1300544357 after hours
• Drop-in centre at the Intercontinental at Coogee Beach with volunteer Jewish clinicians and pastoral care for anyone who was at Bondi
• Planetherapy Global—Diverse languages, online and group support for Shoah survivors

And remember, it’s OK if you or your loved ones are struggling. You are not alone. Be kind to yourself as well as those around you. Take your time to heal and don’t be afraid to rely on friends, family, and your local community for support.