This Friday just feels like an early knock Friday. I can feel it in my knees.

In fact, if you need an excuse, you can tell your boss that this Friday, someone you know well and love dearly needs to be provided with emotional support for a very important occasion. That someone is me, and I will be somewhere sometime after lunch, with a beverage in one hand and my phone in the other, perusing this fantastic lisat of things to do, planning the greatest weekend of my young life... so far.

Yep, it's that time again. Here are 20 ways to have fun in Tāmaki Makaurau Auckland, this Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and all weekend.

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Thursday 11 September

Pitch Ya Pals (Literally) At This Live Dating Show

5:30-10:30pm | Wynyard Pavilion | $45 tickets pp

Forget swiping; this is matchmaking with a twist. Pitch Ya Pals is rolling into town, hosted by none other than RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under winner, Kita Mean, and it’s part talent show, part dating app, part comedy chaos.

Here’s how it works: ten mates get four minutes each to convince a room full of singles why their bestie is the ultimate catch. Expect PowerPoint slides, baby photos, dramatic testimonials, and maybe even an interpretive dance or two. Once the pitches are done, the crowd gets their chance to mingle at an after party with DJs, drinks, and plenty of potential right swipes (IRL).

You don’t need to be single to join the fun (wingpeople are more than welcome), but if you’re 30+ and ready to mingle, now’s your chance. Who knows? Your next love story could start with a slideshow. Make sure to snag your tickets before they sell out.

Cash Is Out, Receipts Are In At Karangahape Returns

11 September-20 September, from 10am-5pm daily | 490 Karangahape Road | Free

Image Credit: K Road | Supplied

Forget cash, ditch your card—your crumpled K Road receipts are about to become the hottest currency in town. From Thursday 11 September, Karangahape Returns is popping up at 490 Karangahape Road with a world-first neighbourhood loyalty scheme where you can swap proof of local spend for one-of-a-kind treasures.

We’re talking 17 items on offer, such as Vegas Girl key rings for just three receipts, a Mercury Plaza 1000-piece memorial puzzle for 33, a ‘KRO4D’ number plate for 200, and even a month’s lease if you can pull together 583. Other cultural gems on offer include vintage Leo O’Malley suits, Fiona Clark’s iconic GoGirls prints, Anne Shelton’s Red Eye book, and contemporary pieces like a Fort Greene sourdough starter, a stencil from tattoo artist Thom Hinton, or a USB filled with field recordings from the street itself.

Part art installation, part economic experiment, and part souvenir shop, this one’s as Karangahape as it gets. Receipts must be from purchases made in the Karangahape neighbourhood after 11 September (so yes, you’ll need to get your shopping, dining, or coffee runs in locally).

Friday 12 September

Get Your Weekend Hit Of Free Tunes

12-1pm | Mt Eden Village Centre (Opposite Circus Circus) | Free

Image credit: Mt Eden Village | Instagram

A perfect excuse for this early knock we just discussed—another free dose of weekly music, this time courtesy of Music in Eden—the music arm of the Eden Arts Trust's longstanding community art day, Artists in Eden. They offer pro bono tunes every Friday lunchtime with a wide-ranging lineup, from classical to groovy and pro to pro-tential. So pop down to the village during your lunch break for a cuppa, maybe a bite, soak in the sounds and then maybe just grab a pint at De Post and don't bother heading back to the office. It's Friday.

Learn What It Means To Really Bliss Out

From 5.30pm | Whakamana Cannabis Museum | $

Image credit: Foxtrot | Instagram

For a long, long time, I've been campaigning for gigs that start earlier, relax harder and, most importantly, have ample supplies of pizza. The Ambient Society's 'Ambient Night Vol. 4' ticks all of these boxes, plus encourages comfy clothes, is alcohol-free, BYOB (Bring Your Own Beanbag), and is happening within the Whakamana Cannabis Museum of all places. An evening of maximum relaxing suffused with deep ambient bliss curated by some of Tāmaki's finest selectors.

Support Boys That're Battling With This Charity Blues Night

8-11.30pm | Bosuns Bar | $$

What's better than a bit of Friday night blues? How about a bit of Friday night of blues for a damn good cause? It's the Blue September “Blues Night” this Friday out at Bosuns Bar in Howick, a charity event for the New Zealand Prostate Cancer Foundation. So if you dig some blues, Americana, country, folk, rock or boogie, plus doing a bit of good, then this might be for you.

Saturday 13 September

Sculpt A Boastworthy Piece Backyard Art

11am-4pm | UXBRIDGE Arts & Culture Centre | $$$

Bliss Out... Again?

12-1pm Chinese/1.30-2.30pm English | Highland Park Library | Free

If last night wasn't relaxing enough, you can back it up on Saturday with a Tea Meditation session courtesy of the Mindful Peace Academy. Available in either Chinese or English (just pick the right slot), you'll learn the mindful practice of preparing, pouring, and drinking tea with full awareness—through each step, smelling the aroma, noticing the warmth, and savouring the taste. An exercise in calm, gratitude, and presence—this is 101 on how to turn a simple cup into meditation, and it's absolutely free.

Witness Football Finally Come Home

Kick-Off 2pm | Mangere Centre Park | Free

The greatest third-string, second-placed, long-past-its-glory-but-may-it-last-forever social men's football team to ever grace the green grass of a football field is attempting to achieve immortality this weekend. Get down to Mangere Centre Park to see if a team of superstars, such as the Edge Breakfast's Clint Randell, might secure the Federation Cup Final for the first time in their storied history. It's the Baggies vs Barons on the hallowed Mangere Centre Park #1. And even globally renowned Fabrizio Romano is getting behind them.

Elevate Your Pub Crawl

1-5pm | The Viaduct & Wynyard Quarter | $$

Image credit: Urban Cocktail Trail | Instagram

Wine wanderers, vino voyagers, cocktail conquistadors; this one’s for you—and, well, everyone over 18, because who doesn’t love a good beverage-inspired adventure? Revamping the drab and sticky-floored concept of the pub crawl, Neighbourhood Events Co. have organised a Cocktail Trail to showcase the vibrant beverage scene of The Viaduct & Wynyard Quarter. It’s all self-guided, so grab your mates, dates and whoever else is keen, but be quick, 'cause tickets are selling quicker than you can say conquistador.

Get Inside The Mind Of A Speed Dater

8-9.30pm | Covert Theatre | $

Image credit: Covert Theatre | supplied

Picture this: it’s your first dip into the world of speed dating, and you're nervous—scratch that, you're terrified. You're practically shaking in your boots. Only, when your date finally arrives, they're absolutely perfect... until you realise they can hear every thought racing through your mind. And worse? So can a live audience...

Perfect Match is Covert Theatre's latest experiment in innovative theatre, providing Ponsonby with some of the best improv shows around. Wander on down to Mackelvie Street this Saturday evening for the second of two limited performances, where you'll eavesdrop on speed daters' unfiltered inner thoughts as they navigate encounters with three potential partners.

Pack Your Dancing Shoes For This Latin Showcase

8.30-11pm | The PumpHouse Theatre

Image credit: Grupo Sa-Son | Facebook

Latin America is set to collide with little 'ol Takapuna this weekend, as the energised sounds of the colourful continent are delivered by Grupo Sa-Son—one of New Zealand’s premier Latin orchestras. Smooth Latin Jazz. Salsa, Cumbia, and Rumba. It's a certified night for a boogie.

Sunday 14 September

Try Movin’ In The Mornin’

9am-12pm | HUB MATAKANA (formerly Zen Den), Matakana | $-$$

Move. Chill. Connect. How’s that sound for a Sunday morning? Out at sunny Matakana, it’s just the way they do it, with MATAKANA MORNING MOVES, going down from 9am-12pm thanks to the sonic assistance of DJ Deej Barclay. He's offering a morning brew of groovy beats as you switch between a hot stone sauna, an ice-cold plunge, and coffee, coca, & smoothie stations. Amaranto has the post-boogie snacks on lock, and after three wholesome hours of shaking it, you’ll need it.

Make Some Money From All That Hoarding

10am-1.30pm | 30 Kitchener Street, Auckland Central | Free

Okay, so I don’t really think of myself as a hoarder. But my Mum, sister, girlfriend, best friend, best friend’s girlfriend, and just about anyone else I’ve shown my pre-2000s cat-themed saucers to all agree to disagree. And they’ve even gone so far as to recommend Auckland's ReUse Market at Victoria Street Car Park this Sunday, where I can pretend all my vintage collections were totally intentional by making a sweet buck or two.

Introduce The Little Ones To A Cat So Cool, He Almost Froze

11am-1pm | New Zealand Maritime Museum | Free

Image credit: Wikipedia

Since I was a young boy, I have been simply obsessed with Shackleton's endeavours. And what I always remembered was that there was a cat on board Endurance. That cat was Mrs Chippy (who actually happened to be a boy), and his courageous story will be told at the New Zealand Maritime Museum in a fun, whanau-friendly format on Sunday. Perfect for kids aged 4-10, but to be honest, I wouldn't mind popping down to hear the story again. 

Learn Which Bird Is Which At This Gorgeous Park

10am-12pm | Huia Lodge, Cornwall Park | Free

Image credit: Cornwall Park | Instagram

Fancy a bit of a bird walk and watch? Hosted by Cornwall Park, this two-hour introductory guided walk is a chance to learn to identify the birds that make this great place their home, and it won't cost you a thing. Pro tip: Bring some binos, sunscreen, a raincoat and a bottle of water. This walk goes ahead, rain or shine.

All Weekend

Hunt For The Greatest Burger In The West

All September | Various Venues Throughout The Wild West | Free To Vote

Here’s some good great news amongst the ocean of negativity that threatens to wash over us every damn day there: The Great Westie Burger Battle is Back! West Auckland’s very best burger vendors go head to head throughout September, with 14 grills battling it out for pattie supremacy of The West. Hit up The Trusts website to check out the contenders and to cast your vote via QR. P.S. Everyone who votes goes in the draw to win a Weber Baby Q BBQ or one of three smash burger kits. And just in time for summer. How good great.

Find Some Inspo For Your Dream Pad

10am-9pm (Sunday 6pm) | Auckland Showgrounds | $

Image credit: The Auckland Home Show | Eventfinda

From Thursday to Sunday, Auckland Showgrounds are hosting the famous Auckland Home Show, where you can get more inspo than a hundred Pinterest boards ten times over. With in excess of 450 leading renovating, building and decorating brands, experts and suppliers showcasing the latest products, services, and trends in renovations, building, furnishing, home improvements, and outdoor living,  this is the biggest of its kind from Auckland to Adelaide and back again.

Get A Bit Artsy With Your Weekend

Various Activations & Workshops | St Heliers Beach | Free Entry

Image credit: St Heliers Art Fest/Babylon Store | website

A fortnight of celebrating creativity out at lovely St Heliers—the entire locale is coming alive 'til 14 September with an immersive, village-wide art experience that blends live music, exhibitions, workshops, and delightful pop‑up surprises. An inaugural, fresh festival, designed for locals and visitors alike to explore the artist within. It's St Heliers Art Fest.

Bask In 8,500 LEDs

From Dusk 'TIl Dawn | Port of Auckland, Auckland Waterfront | Free

Image credit: The Lightship | supplied

The Lightship is here for a new summer season, and it's bigger and brighter than ever. Australasia's largest lightwall—this behemoth of a light installation stretches 110 metres along Auckland’s waterfront, transforming a working port building into an illuminated canvas every single night. 8,500 LED lights, large-scale digital works from six artists across Aotearoa and Australia, free from dusk 'til dawn and opening this week with Melbourne-based painter Esther Stewart's creation.

All that weekend planning left you hangry? Check out The Feed.

Main image credit: Covert Theatre | Supplied.

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