Archie Brothers Cirque Electriq

The Verdict

Archie Brothers smacks all your senses at once with a giant, novelty hammer. Seriously, once our hearts stop defibrillating, we’ll need time to just absorb everything going on in there.

If adult arcade bars are your particular cup of red cordial, you’re going to love this place. Let’s start with some of the basic features. You’ve got 67 different arcade games, including VR gaming, six bowling lanes, an XD theatre, dodgem cars, shooting range, a cocktail bar and cheese syringes.

Phew. It’s hard to know where to start with all that, and odds are you’ll spend the first five minutes just wandering around the District Docklands complex in a daze, mouth agape. What else would you expect from the team that brought you Holey Moley and B.Lucky & Sons...

The guys have been designing this space for months, and the game selection is kind of interesting. Take The Shocker: literally a chair with electrodes that sends voltage coursing through your body. The longer you cling on, the more tickets you get. There’s VR rollercoasters, water-cannon shooters, tests of strength, Mario Kart racers, air hockey tables, and (our personal favourite) an old-fashioned shooting range, run by an animatronic bear.

Of course, the games aren’t just for fun. You can also win tickets. And just like at B.Lucky, the prizes aren’t your bog-standard bouncy balls and keyrings. We’re seriously eyeing that vintage Jumanji board game (a steal at 1000 tickets). There’s also Simpsons Chess sets, old-school Furbies, retro gaming consoles and Duff Beer memorabilia.

The blatant nostalgia grab also runs through the food and booze. Half the cocktails are made from ice-creams and treats you used to buy at Milk Bars in the 90s. They were literally serving fairy bread at the launch party.

You can also load up on pizzas (stick with the pepperoni Ringmaster), burgers (the Bullfighter with a cheese syringe is our favourite) and loaded hot dogs. Whack on some Cajun-dusted waffle fries and Cannonball potato gems and it’ll be your 15th birthday party all over again.

Except we’re guessing you weren’t drinking alcoholic shakes at your 15th birthday party. Our pick is definitely The Funhouse: a diner glass, frosted with crushed Oreos, topped up with Captain Morgan spiced rum, crème de cacao, milk, a Golden Gaytime, whipped crème and sprinkles. Outrageous.

The weirdest thing about Archie Brothers? You find yourself having fun in Docklands. That’s not meant to happen. Whether places like this and Urban Alley Brewery can rejuvenate the District precinct remains to be seen, but TBH we’re having too much fun to care. 

Image credit: Annika Kafcaloudis