Mi Goreng noodles are already as close to perfection as a 60c packet of vaguely suspicious and addictive flavourings are going to get. Improving them is like setting out to make a rounder sphere, or telling Mozart to ‘put more notes in’.
So, how do you improve on such a finely nuanced gastronomic masterpiece? Well, it turns out there are ways to pimp your Mee Gee. Some are expected (fried egg) and some are not (peanut butter, we’re looking at you). Here are all the ways to style everyone’s favourite shame-filled meal replacement and make the best Mi Goreng of your life.
Duh, right? But you’d be surprised at how many Mee Gee devotees don’t bother to add a fried egg, despite it being well known that yolk is the best noodle-lubricant going around (cue ‘noodle-lubricant’ jokes). Plus, it’s good protein (cue more, slightly dirtier, jokes).
What madness is this? Well hey, the first person to swallow an oyster or drink the white stuff that comes out of cows was probably considered a bit skewiff, so don’t knock it until you try it. The trick here is to make a regular batch of Mi Goreng (sans soup), pop it in a jaffle, squeeze in some kewpie mayo and toast in a regular jaffle iron. Sounds weird, but we promise it works.
This one comes from Reddit user PsychoPhilosopher, so we can’t take full credit. It’s essentially a (very) budget satay sauce. He/she advises to cook the noodles in boiling water as per normal, then in a pan, heat the various Mee Gee accouterment, plus one heaped tablespoon of peanut butter. Add the noodles and stir-fry. Add peas or sweetcorn to taste. Voila...suspicious packet noodle satay, and quite possible the best Mi Goreng dish you’ve ever tasted.
Anyone who’s tried the (slightly more expensive) Instant Tonkotsu Noodles knows that sesame oil is basically noodle crack. Add a few precious drops and your mouth will do that thing that Matt Preston’s does when it gets within 10 feet of a chocolate volcano fondant.
Similar to the sesame oil tip, but with an added level of creaminess. You can adjust said creaminess depending on how much you love tahini (we love it a lot, so bring on the dessert spoons). Just make a regular batch of Mi Goreng and stir through tahini as your final step. Delish.
We’re getting into Uni Student Gastronomical Experimentation here. Two of the supermarkets most energy-dense, cost-effective foods, together at last. Fair to say this one isn’t traditional, the tuna does combine with the Mi Goreng for some truly epic bad breath, but it’s probably closer to an actual meal than the packet flying solo (those dried onion bits aren’t very filling).
Any Michelin-starred gastronome knows that you increase the deliciousness of anything by adding Sriracha, and Mee Gee falls within the scope of ‘anything’ (broadly). Mi Goreng comes with its own hot sauce, of course (a fiery red thing that we’ve all wiped in our eye at some point) but the Sriracha gives the whole combo an extra sweet zing.
Throw in a handful of peas so that you can defeat Mum’s semi-regular lie-detector test, the one where she asks you about average weekly vegetable consumption.
Black Truffle Oil
Got a hot date? Whip out the Mee Gee and black truffle oil, they’ll be dead impressed. Apart from being classy as shit, the black truffle oil adds a certain smoky earthiness that perfectly offsets the natural sweetness of the Mi Goreng. You can stop your search for the best Mi Goreng recipes now.
Because life’s too short not to, that’s why. Here’s what you do: go to your nearest organic butcher and order the best-marbled Wagyu fillet money can buy. Season well and cook it on the hob, basting regularly in butter to finish. Allow to rest for about 10 minutes (during which time you prep your Mee Gee). Serve the steak with a nice balsamic reduction, a side of rocket and a wodge of Mi Goreng noodles. Congrats, you are now an adult.
What is this, Masterchef? Dan Wilson from Huxtaburger swears by adding chopped coriander and Thai basil to his packet noodles. We haven’t tried this one, but it sounds fragrant, potentially delicious and a sure-fire way to create the best Mi Goreng at home.
You know the pink pickled ginger packs you get with sushi rolls? Yeah, save those. They go great with Mi Goreng. The Mee Gee brings the umami richness; the ginger brings a piquant heat to balance the palate.
Supermarket BBQ Chicken
Grab a half-chook from the supermarket (you probably don’t need an entire half chicken for this process, but we’re factoring in the inevitable carcass-nibbling). Tear the breast meat with your fingers and add the shredded chicken to your finished Mee Gee. Last step: take the BBQ skin, whack under a grill until crispy, then crumble over the top. Nom.
Makes sense right? And you don’t have to be veggo to enjoy this one. Even the most hard-core carnivore can appreciate that well-cooked tofu adds a certain pillowy softness to noodle dishes. This one works best with the controversial soupy Mi Goreng variants (just add the cooking water to the bottom of your bowl). The tofu soaks it right up, a bit like a laksa.
Last but not least, grate over some tasty cheese (or aged French Roquefort if you have it) because the self-loathing is strong tonight.
Preparing for winter? You can eat for days with these amazing slow cooker recipes.
Image credit: Urban List