The season to be 'jolly' (aka literal gut-wrenching hell) is almost upon us. Pretty soon our delicate systems will falter and buckle under the strain of social conventions that demand we stick around for ‘just one more drink’.
Nek minnit it’s midday and the agony of your hangover is almost too real to actually bear. You’ve made a bad mistake—terrible, in fact—and your rig is not weathering it well. Oh yes, with three weekends until Christmas it’s only going to get harder from here on.
The day after the night before is a grim and unnatural ordeal but it need not be entirely fruitless; see below for a bespoke agenda of everything you can do in Auckland when you’re hungover AF.
1. Fill the void you’re almost touching with a greasy cheesy carb fest.
2. Console yourself with a comforting chunder in the nearest shrub.
3. Take a holiday from the somatic havoc with a spot of sensory deprivation in a float tank.
4. Hug a toilet and weep for the state of your future.
5. Get your five daily serves of vegetables via five really, really ridiculously good-looking bloody Marys.
6. Slowly and steadily reflate with an IV drip of cold, black, heartless pourover at Kokako.
7. Tag along to squad brunch—hair of the dog is your saviour right now—and just sit there in dark glasses so the pain in your eyes doesn’t kill the mood.
8. Stare down your weakness on a brewery tour at Hallertau.
9. Sweat out the toxins at a hot yoga class (read: spend the entire time in savasana).
10. Go on a staycation and ride out the worst of your monstrous hangover in a fluffy robe cocoon.
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Image credit: Ariana Gillrie