25 Things Aucklanders Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners

By Olivia Atkinson
23rd Jan 2017

25 Things Aucklanders Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners

At some point in your Auckland life, someone from a far away land (cough, cough, Southland) is going to visit you. And, chances are, there will be a couple of questions they have about our fine city. To help you prep some answers, we’ve found 25 things Aucklanders have to explain to out-of-towners.

  1. Yes, I pay $250 per week for this shit hole of a room, and no, I couldn’t find anything cheaper.
  2. Also, those Victorian villas may look old school, but they won’t cost less than 1 mill a pop these days.
  3. Brunch is the most important meal of the day.
  4. Yes, Mt Eden is a volcano. No, it isn’t going to erupt.
  5. You can get a burger at 4 o’clock in the morning and it doesn’t have to be from McD’s.
  6. The city becomes a ghost town over the summer break. Before and after that? It’s a mad house.
  7. Our bus system sucks. No, really, you’re probably better to walk.
  8. Those people ignorantly jaywalking along Ponsonby Road? They don’t have a death wish; they just think they have priority over the cars.
  9. Waitlists are real. Waiting an hour for a table is even more real.
  10. Yellow lights mean speed up, not slow down.
  11. Prepare to play chicken on those skinny Ponsonby streets. And don’t forget to the ‘thank you’ wave.
  12. The Sky Tower may look like a needle but it’s actually our most beloved building.
  13. Where you went to high school is of the upmost importance.
  14. As is what suburb you live in.
  15. Want a curry? Go to Sandringham. Want dumplings? Go to Balmoral. No exceptions, no excuses.
  16. If you don’t use Uber, then who are you? Taxis are only for when the surcharge skyrockets to 5x above average.
  17. Four seasons in one day is a song for a reason. Prepare for it.
  18. We take our coffee seriously. No double shot? No deal.
  19. Any time is wine time.
  20. Cornwall Park is the shiz. And there are some seriously beautiful beaches dotted across the city. We’re not just a concrete jungle, don’t ya know?
  21. The Blues? Never heard of them.
  22. Don’t even think about parking in the city. $8 an hour is the norm.
  23. Don’t be bringing your Speights to the big smoke. We’re all about Stella Artois, Peroni and the occasional craft brew.
  24. Being vegan, vegetarian or, God forbid, gluten-free, will not make eating out too tricky. Auckland is New Zealand’s home of alty diets.
  25. Once an Aucklander, always an Aucklander.

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