Another year, another day dedicated to all things lovey dovey in our lives. Shacked up with a winner? Congrats! Single as a pringle? The ol’ Valentine’s Day probably feels like a kick in the guts right now.
To help you perk up, we’ve found 30 reasons why being in a relationship is actually not all that great and definitely not worth wasting your precious tears over (seriously, don’t cry). Note: read with a grain of salt.
- You have to share your food. I didn’t want that last slice of pizza anyway, Daniel.
- Anything sleeping-related is annoying. Star-fishing? No deal. Having the duvet to yourself? Dreaming. Not waking up in the middle of the night because your S.O. decided to latch onto you like a parasite and now you’ve overheating and in a pool of swear? Good luck with that.
- Waxing and shaving become chores. Of course, you can become lazy but then you’re left with the ‘I got comfortable then let myself go’ regret. It’s the worst.
- You have to compromise all the freakin’ time. I mean, that’s what relationships are about but sometimes you just want to watch the chick flick movie without having to follow up with a game on the Xbox.
- Speaking of, you have to make a fool of yourself playing said Xbox.
- It takes twice as along to decide where you want to eat, what you want to do etc etc. It really is an energy-drainer.
- If it’s the early stages of a relationship, you have to pretend you’re a nice, faultless person all the time because you’re not quite ready to unveil your frightening bouts of road rage or how sometimes you just need to vent about how much you loathe your boss.
- You suddenly realise how nuts you actually are. Love turns the best of us into psychos. “BABY WHY AREN’T YOU PICKING UP MY CALLS ARE YOU OKAY I LOVE YOU CALL ME BACK ALSO WE NEED MILK PICK SOME UP ON THE WAY HOME OKAY BYE DON’T FORGET THE MILK.”
- You have to go through the whole ‘meet the parents’ scenario and that shit can be stressful.
- You then have to remain your best self around said parents, which also isn’t a walk in the park. You also have double the family commitments.
- When birthdays, anniversaries, other occasions roll around, you have to actually think hard about what you have to buy your boo. Unlike your brother, a pair of socks probably won’t do.
- You also spend waaaay more money. Unless you’re J Lo. Then your love ‘don’t cost a thing’.
- Alone time becomes niggly. Sometimes you just want to lock yourself in a room and smash out seven seasons of Shameless but when you’re in a relationship, it’s easier said than done.
- Also, if they don’t dig the same TV shows/movies/music as you, then Houston, we have a problem.
- You have to change your Facebook relationship status. While it can be oh-so exciting, dealing with all the ‘OMG, Jill, you are so going to get married’ messages ain’t so fun.
- You can’t get really messy wasted because then they feel like they have to look after you.
- You have to look after them when they get really messy wasted.
- You can’t take as long as you want to get ready because they just sit at the end of your bed and make you feel guilty.
- If their fashion choices are an embarrassment, then you have to conjure up the courage to let them know that it isn’t working for them. Distressing stuff.
- You see all your single mates having the time of your life and then worry that you’re settling and start to miss your single days.
- You have to pretend you like the presents he gets you. Like, thanks babe, I always wanted a set of coasters.
- You have to hold your farts in. God help us all.
- You can feel their disappointment when they find out you actually love your cat/dog/bird/rabbit/hedgehog more than them.
- They wake you up at all hours of the night/morning for nookie, which is sometimes a nice surprise, but also sometimes a chore.
- Or you forget to have s-e-x for like three months.
- You have to share your toothbrush because they always forget to bring one over #doublethegerms.
- You have to like their friends even if they suck.
- You have to spend your precious weekend hours pretending to watch and understand their rugby game. Yawn.
- You have to be super sensitive to feelings. And deal with the “I’m fine” response.
- You become terrified that one day they might stop loving you or you might stop loving them and then your hearts will break. Terrifying.
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Image credit: The Break-Up