Ah, reality TV. Why are you so good at reeling us in? Or more importantly, how do these stupid awesome shows even end up on our screens?
First there was The Bachelor—which you may or may not have noticed we watch religiously every week—and now, there’s a new show that could take the cake for being the best worst show to pop up on our tellies. EVER.
Meet Married At First Sight. The second season is underway in Australia and yes, it’s exactly what you think.
A panel of ‘experts’ match each couple according to science in the hope of “creating deeper connections to give them the best chance at happy ever after.” The pairing process includes peering into the prospective husband and wife’s wardrobes, having a wee chat about their feels and making them sniff a couple of dirty shirts, which, y’know is basically all the info you need to make a match made in heaven.
Once that’s out of the way the people are notified and have seven days to prepare for their big day. The first time they lock eyes on their future life partner is when the bride-to-be walks down the aisle. Yep. This, people, is quite literally TELEVISION GOLD.
And how could it be made better? By bringing it to New Zealand, obvs.
We have many, many questions (starting with WTF?!) but before we go into that, here’s why Married At First Sight should make it’s way even further down under to New Zealand.
- It’s pretty much Tinder on crack. In fact, that’s how one of the brides described it. And we’re sure a fair few Kiwis have exhausted their options through Tinder.
- And, PLOT TWIST, if it doesn’t work out, the couples can just go their separate ways. The wedding isn’t legally binding, FYI.
- So it’s basically an extravagant first date (albeit surrounded by family and friends) where you can get dolled up, have a party and sleep in a fancy hotel with (read: next to) the supposed man of your dreams. Why wouldn’t you sign up for this show? New Zealand’s dating climate NEEDS this show.
- Speaking of, unlike The Bachelor you don’t have to fight, bitch and scratch your way to love (soz, Jords). A dude is waiting at the alter for you and only you.
- And if said experts do their job right, he or she might just be your person. A couple from last season’s Married At First Sight are trying for a baby. Nawh.
- You also get the amusing-for-you, confusing-for-everyone else experience of telling your nearest and dearest that you’re getting married…to someone you haven’t met yet. Right up our Kiwi sense of humour alley.
- However, once there’s a ring on it, you go on an epic second date—an all-expenses-paid holiday, where you get to know your wife/husband without a stream ‘can I interrupt?’ moments.
- The tricky part comes when someone has to move into the other person’s abode. In saying that, it forces the couples to nut out any niggles rather quickly. This living together part of Married At First Sight is really a bullshit filter/a chance for the couples of see how they’ll fare in the real world.
- But because New Zealand is so damn small, their lives will probably connect in some uncanny way, anyway.
- As viewers and Kiwis, we can’t help but root for the perfectly matched couples, boo at the villain (there’s always one) and watch as happily ever after unravels before our very eyes.
- And because this fine country of ours is so delightfully liberal, LGBT peeps would be able to go on the show, too! Hint, hint, producers…
Image credit: Married At First Sight Australia