40 Thoughts We All Had While Watching First Dates New Zealand

By Olivia Atkinson
10th Oct 2016

40 Thoughts We All Had While Watching First Dates New Zealand

Trashy telly, how we love you so. The Bachelor’s lovey-dovey cringe-worthiness got us hooked, the Real Housewives of Auckland’s ridiculous drama reeled us in and as of five minutes ago, First Dates New Zealand just became our go-to dating show.

First Dates New Zealand follows Kiwi singletons as they head out on blind dates—awkward much? Tonight, from the cosy comforts of our couch, we witnessed couples share a meal and get to know each other. Some were adorable, some were atrocious and some just shouldn’t be dating at all…ever.

Whether you tuned in yourself or are on the fence about diving into this new show, here’s what was going through our minds as we watched the first episode of First Dates New Zealand.

  1. Annnd we’re off.
  2. “Each match has been based on likes and dislikes.” This could be an actual recipe for disaster. 
  3. Eeeek, hope she doesn’t wear that tiara to the date.
  4. “Girls can be princesses, but we can build our own castles as well.” Amen, sister.
  5. Oh no, he’s borrowed his mother’s cardigan.
  6. “For the last eight years I’ve only had one woman in my life, which is my mum.” Explains the cardie then, Johnny.
  7. Single for a year? You’re only 20! Cherish your singledom, Molly. 
  8. “Chinese braised Wag-oo-yoo.” Ten points for effort.
  9. Forgetting your date’s name isn’t a great start, guys.
  10. It’s saved by the fact that they’re totally cute together.
  11. White socks and black shoes are a fashion no-no, Eugene.
  12. Eugene on his ex: “she was annoying, she was ginger.” Don’t be a ginger hater. 
  13. Side note: the front of house dude is a bit of a babe.
  14. You don’t sound very British, Molly. 
  15. Ruuuuude, Eugene. How dare you stop a lady mid-sentence to order…a water.
  16. You don’t drink because you get naked? Icebreaker much?
  17. “I believe my Mr Right is out there and I believe he’s waiting for me.” Fingers crossed, Elaine!
  18. Bless this lady! Hasn’t been on a date for 15 years but still has the balls to give this show a shot.
  19. A pint of milk? Are you for real?
  20. Milk and moustaches definitely don’t mix. That’s nasty. 
  21. Tom Hardy, the greatest person in the world? Big call, Eugene, big call. What about Gandhi?
  22. This beard chat is surprisingly gripping. 
  23. Samoan Gandalf. Lol lol lol. We’ll forgive the mother cardigan for that joke.
  24. Again, you’re only 21! Calm your farm, Nikos. 
  25. “She wanted to go on a break then slept with one of my mates.” You might want to keep at least some of your personal life off the telly.
  26. “It’s only for honeymoons so we’d have to get married first.” Old people humour is the best.
  27. Announcing to your dad’s family that you’re bisexual on national TV is one way to do it.
  28. Separate houses next door to each other? Who can afford two houses in the Auckland housing market, Nicole?
  29. Oh no, Johnny thinks he’s been ditched! Poor Johnny.
  30. “My pantry’s quite spicy.” Andrew bringing all the lols.
  31. Aw Johnny is so smitten.
  32. “If you listen to me for three weeks I can guarantee you I could lose you 10kgs.” What? Are you going to starve the poor woman?
  34. A Frisbee teacher? Is that even a thing?
  35. Nope, because Eugene is a liar.
  36. Bonding over wedges, bacon, sweet chilli and cheese is…unique.
  37. “You eat really posh like.” Looks pretty normal to us?
  38. Eugene ‘forgot’ his card?! *cough cough * wanker. That’s not even funny.
  39. YOUR CARD WAS IN YOUR POCKET?! Go home, Eugene. No one likes you.
  40. That’s enough for a Monday night. ‘Til next week!

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