43 Tips For Your London OE

Living in London is a rite of passage for folks Down Under, including us. We’ve been there, rode the tubes, battled the cold and become better people for it. We’re not saying it’s easy but the experience is worth it—these will be some of the best times of your life. But there’s plenty to learn along the way and so, we’ve complied that wisdom into one handy-dandy list for your reading pleasure. So, without further ado, here are 43 tips for living in London.

1. Life’s expensive. Get used to it.
2. But even when you’re dirt poor, you can still rummage up the money to spend on booze, an airfare or a £300 All Saints top because, priorities.
3. Public transport is your best friend.
4. If you want to be called the right name, learn to say it with a British accent.
5. In fact, you should probably learn to talk with a British accent if you want to communicate with the locals.
6. Hunt down the nearest Antipodean-owned café because, let’s be honest, no-one makes coffee as good as us #humblebrag.
7. Increase your walking speed or you’ll get left behind.
8. British lads are short. You’ll quickly come to appreciate our blokes.
9. Staying fit is the key to sanity. No matter how snuggly home is, go to the gym!
10. Avoid Oxford Circus at all times.
11. Fulham might be where all the rich people live, but the District line is enough to derail your future as a gold digger.
12. It’s fully legit to get your kit off if you’re sitting on a sunny patch of grass—no matter what part of town you’re in.
13. Spend more money on rent to live closer to the tube station. You’ll thank us when you’re walking home from work in the dark at zero-degree temperatures.
14. Don’t live in zone 3. You’ll never see your friends.
15. Always pick up a free copy of the ‘Stylist’ at the tube entrance—you’ll want all the things.
16. Brick Lane BYO will never let you down for an epic night.
17. Kiwis and Australians are the same people in London. But Kiwis are liked more #justsaying.
18. And Kiwis and Aussies are always friends.
19. Eat all the burgers—Meat Liquor, Patty & Bun, Dirty Burger, Honest Burgers, Byron…eat them all.
20. The people from Made in Chelsea never leave Chelsea. Walk up and down King Street for an hour and you’re bound to spot at least two. Damn you Lucy for being actually so pretty in person #girlcrush.
21. You won’t know fear until you miss the last tube and have to ride the night bus home. Don’t do it.
22. Never put your name on a utility bill, a phone plan or anything else remotely adult-like unless you want to spend the next two years explaining that you no longer live in London and you closed the account years ago. Trust us, this happens.
23. It’s acceptable to wear double denim, a leather jacket and neck scarf almost anywhere—especially in Shoreditch and Dalston.
24. It’s also acceptable to wear light-up Christmas jumpers from November to January.
25. Never buy more than five-kilograms’ worth of groceries at a time—you have to carry them.
26. There’s no shame in using Tinder. You won’t come across anyone you know and, if you don’t like them, you’ll never see them again.
27. Actually, if you can’t afford to eat because you spent all your money at Ikea, sign up to Tinder. Hello free drinks and food!
28. Take advantage of flash airfare sales and embrace “Fuck off Fridays”.
29. That awful high pitch scream outside your window at 3am is a fox mating.
30. Sharing a bed with your best friend isn’t that bad if you have strict rules. No snoring, no bringing home company and definitely no starfishing—no matter how drunk you are.
31. As much as you abide by the rules, if you’re sharing a bed with your bestie, now’s a good time to get a boyfriend/girlfriend (who has their own room).
32. Never walk around with your phone out in front of you, unless you want it stolen by a man on a bike.
33. Never take your phone out of your bag at Five Guys, unless you want it stolen by a man who also likes burgers.
34. London houses have excellent heating, but in the summer you may as well sleep outside.
35. Markets, always hit the markets. Especially the Columbia Road Flower Markets.
36. If you don’t go to the Waitangi Day pub crawl dressed as a sheep or another classic New Zealand costume, you’re not a real Kiwi. Aussies should join in too.
37. If you want to be put off alcohol, go to The Church sober—the pub, not the chapel.
38. Do a background check on your landlord and property manager before moving into a house. If they are ranked 16,500 out of 16,560, you probably don’t want to live there.
39. Yorkshire pudding is a great addition to a roast.
40. Our suburb names aren’t nearly as funny as London’s. We’re looking at you Cockfosters, Stains and Tooting Broadway…
41. Suddenly all the expats are your best friends—even if you would never speak to them at home.
42. Always let fellow travellers bunk down in your lounge.
43. Always say yes…to everything!