TV & Movies

50 Thoughts We Had While Watching First Dates

By Urban List Writers
17th May 2018

50 Thoughts We Had While Watching Tonight's Episode Of First Dates

Another week, another series of awkward dates. Last week all the awkwardness was around the twins but this week saw a new low. Like rock bottom low. Yep, one of the contestants (is that what they’re called?!) hit on one of the staff. And then lied by omission. Let’s just say it’ll take a long time to forget that one…

But naturally there was more drama than Mean Girls. Here were 50 thoughts we had while watching this week’s episode of First Dates.

  1. Shyneise: just imagine how many times she has to spell that out.
    first dates nz
  2. Why do people do this shit? 
  3. “Your date’s not here.” “That’s the best news all day.” Like, you know why you’re here, right Shyneise?
  4. The sound of one hand clapping. And shots. This woman has it all.
  5. “I believe in love at first sight. I’ve had that attraction...I was pretty drunk at the time.” Yep, Zach is really from Palmerston North.
  6. Is it kinda weird to sniff each other out.
    first dates nz
  7. Charlee, there is already so much to meet the eye. 
  8. Also, are we finally gonna see that bone eating scene? Yussss.
  9. Not skinny enough? Like who the hell is? Let that shit go, Charlee. You're gorgous.
  10. Shyneise and Zach know about smells and tattoos before they know each others' names. #priorities
    first dates nz
  11. Charlee’s looking to pop out a couple of sprogs and Harley’s a sperm donor. Well played, TVNZ, well played. 
  12. But whoops, he doesn’t want to have kids atm. Not so good after all.
  13. Charlee and Harley! They’re poets and they know it.
  14. Haha and in the literal sense too!
  15. And they use the word turd.
  16. It’s all about the gifts tonight. Not sure about the free sundae at Macca’s though.
    first dates nz
  17. Anyone else notice that when people say they're classified as dumb then spend ages justifying why they’re not? Show, don't tell. 
  18. “I do actually have a degree.” Nice work.
  19. A point system for burping. Keeping it classy.
  20. Brooke and Brock. The names are pure gold tonight.
  21. Brock is into heads. This is Brooke’s chance to shine!
  22. “Me tooooo!” No, no Brooke. Your name is Brooke. His is Brock. 
    first dates nz
  23. And she still can't remember? How is that even possible? 
  24. “It’s like a bogey sitting at the bottom of the shot glass.” Not sure what’s up your nose, Shyneise.
  25. “It’s like those pubes.” No. Oysters are nothing like pubes.
  26. “It got stuck in my throat.” Jesus, Shyneise.
  27. Rihanna: “I can drink him under the table.” Tonight really is the night for class.
  28. James: “I have a lot of unattractive friends.” We love him already.
  29. James shows up looking like he’s going to the skate park and was up until 3am and thinking of standing her up. No wonder he’s 18 years single. Make an effort, dude!
  30. James: “My car ended up getting impounded in Matamata.” This just gets better.
  31. Two girlfriends who became lesbians. Not the best of luck, Zach.
  32. Rihanna: “I snuck into that camp one time.” What every first date needs to hear. And the entire country.
  33. Brooke is more attracted to the guy serving her than her date. Will she get his number?
    first dates nz
  34. There’s no ring on his finger (if that means anything).
    first dates nz
  36. Bullshit that was a ‘big step’ for you.
  37. And she left her pen on the table? What were you saying about a degree?
    first dates nz
  38. Red for guilt?
    first dates nz
  39. We’ve waited all season for this moment. 
  40. It’s been eight months since Harley had sex. There is such a thing as TMI.
    first dates nz
  41. James: “You don’t go to Burger King to be a burger, just like you don’t go to church to be a Christian or Catholic.” Ummm….okayyyy. 
  42. Harley doesn’t want a second date. Well that sucks.
  43. Zach’s a chocolate mess.
  44. Shyneise wants another many is that now?
  45. Why isn’t Brooke honest enough to say she’s given her number out to someone else tonight?
  46. James and Rihanna won’t commit to the word date either.
    first dates nz
  47. Finally Louis is in on it. 
  49. Louis is out and we are too…
  50. ...until next week.

Missed last week's episode? Here were our thoughts. 

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