27 Reasons Why New Zealand Is Better Than Australia

By Martha Brooke
17th Apr 2017

Although we are classed as neighbours—and some might even go as far to call us related *shudder*—everyone knows that siblings fight, and fight we will!

Indeed, while we share similarities, such as our flags that are almost identical, and the fact that we both love a good sausage sizzle, Australia and New Zealand just aren’t the same! (And no, our accents are NOT the same!)

In this ongoing battle of who is best we thought it best to stake our claim and prove just why New Zealand should win this prestigious title.

Taking a leaf from our boys in black, let’s get ready to add another victory to our already impressive collection, shall we?

1. We don't have killer insects, great whites and other monstrous carnivores in our backyard.

2. We don’t slap our national animal on the barbie. Nope, we protect ours.

3. Or have to worry about our dogs getting caught in a choke hold by one.

4. Our seasons are pretty normal compared to your extreme conditions.

5. Our summers don’t restrict us to staying by the air con all day in a pool of Golden Gaytime.

6. Our inflight airplane videos deserve academy awards.

7. We invented Pavlova. Don’t mess with our meringue, bitches.

8. Do you have a national celeb in Tay Tay’s girl gang? Didn’t think so.

9. Or have a kick-ass choreographer create amazeballs dance routines for Biebs, Rhi Rhi and Jaaaason Derulo? We’ll accept your ‘sorry’ now. Yup, pun intended.

10. Gay marriage is legal and celebrated here!

11. Our rugby team hold the number one spot in the world! Burn.

12. Our Haka is world recognised for being completely badass and epic. Waltzing Matilda what?

13. We wear thongs on our asses, not our toes.

14. New Zealand is officially a happier country than Australia!

15. We don’t have to deal with weird apology videos from Johnny Depp and his dogs.

16. You won’t find a snake staring at your bottom as you do your business.

17. Or in your shoe, along with an entire colony of funnel web spiders.

18. You won’t have to worry about dive-bombing magpies every time you wear anything remotely shiny.

19. Is your backyard like a scene from Lord Of The Rings? Didn’t think so.

20. Have you ever tried Whittaker's chocolate?

21. Our $2 coin isn’t smaller than our $1 coin. What nonsense is this?

22. Our pigs are actually pigs, not 'pegs.'

23. You won’t find yourself living in places called ‘Pensioners Bush’, ‘Tittybong’ or ‘Backstairs Passage.’ And you thought Waipu was funny…

24. We were the first in the world to give women the vote.

25. Waltzing Matilda vs the haka. Need we say more?

26. Our Sauv Blanc is next-level delicious.

27. Manuka honey. Mmmmmm.

Want More?

Image credit: Image Credit: "Sorry" by Justin Bieber 

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