The wonderful world of dating is a tough one to navigate. When it’s good it’s great, but when it’s bad it’s so very very bad. Sometimes it’s best to quit while you can.
You have a few options here: bolt for the front door, take a daring jump out the bathroom window, or fake a call from your flatmate telling you your cat’s been run over. If you’re a bit unsure of when it’s time to get the hell out of there, we’ve complied a handy list of 30 signs it’s time to end your date, pronto. Happy dating!
1. They bring their friend along.
2. They bring their cat along.
3. Even worse—they bring their mum and/or dad as a plus one.
4. You catch them picking at a scab.
5. They make a racist comment. Nah, not cool. Tell them to take a hike.
6. They bring up their ex.
7. Word gets out that they spent time in prison. Exit stage right.
8. You find out the reason you have so many common connections on Tinder… You’re related!
9. You smell them before you see them… But not in a good way.
10. They forget your name.
11. You find yourself at Maccas.
12. Your blind date turns out to be with your ex. Criiiinge.
13. They pay for dinner with three different gift cards.
14. Toilet humour becomes a common theme.
15. Turns out they have a bellybutton lint fetish. Leave while you can.
16. She’s keen to go out for dinner—as long as it’s meat free, gluten free, vegan, sugar free, paleo, dairy free, raw, and fun free.
17. Your 26-year-old Tinderella turns out to be a 40-year-old mum of two.
18. Your 22-year-old Tinderfella turns out to be a 17-year-old high school kid.
19. They give you a $20 dinner budget (drinks included).
20. You pull them up for flirting with the waitress/waiter.
21. They ask to make a stop before dinner. It turns out to be a drug deal.
22. Your date ends up being the daughter of your boss.
23. They’re using the date as a means of pre-loading for free.
24. They try to sign you up for their pyramid scheme.
25. He offers to pay… But it has to be after 9pm when his pay comes through.
26. They break down and start crying.
27. Some snot comes out when they sneeze. There’s no recovery from this one.
28. They “forget” their wallet.
29. Their mum drops them off… and picks them up.
30. They bring up their ex—again. Seriously, why are you still sitting there? Leave, dammit!
So it didn’t work out. Never fear, here’s 25 things to do on the Sunshine Coast if you’re single.
Image Credit: The 40-Year-Old Virgin
This article was previously published on The Urban List.