Ahhhh, summer. This is the time of year you start reading articles about resolutions, and achieving a bikini body with “fresh, healthy summer salads”.
Well, not here at Metropolist, my friends. Here, we are channeling Gordon Gekko, and embracing greed in all its delicious, buttery, indulgent, deep-fried and syrup-smothered forms.
Oh yes, greed is good, and we’re getting our fix with this succinct list of Noosa’s Fattest Feeds.
Buffet Breakfast Extravaganza
As far as we’re concerned, you can’t go wrong with a brekky buffet. And this one, served at one of the best restaurants in Noosa, includes all the hotel classics—ham-tastic eggs benedict, fluffy soft pancakes (with bacon and maple syrup, because those wacky Canucks really know how to pair flavours!) and of course, a designer omelette bar. So leave your shame at Noosa Beach House’s door, and head back to the buffet again and again to pile your plate up with some of this calorific awesomeness. And a slice or two of fruit, just to keep your trainer happy. #cheatday doesn’t even begin to cover it!
Where: 16 Hastings Street, Noosa Heads
Contact: 07 5449 4771
Cajun Fried Chicken Ribs
Prepare to get messy! Gaston’s Cajun Fried Chicken Ribs aren’t exactly bib territory, but you’ll definitely get your fingers sticky and need to touch up your lippie afterwards! So save this one for the fourth date. These ribs have a good hit of spicy cajun seasoning, and we like to pair them with a beer to really hit that “dude food” vibe. While this dish is on the “small things” menu, it’s definitely worth ordering a couple of portions, and making a meal of it!
Where: 5/50 Hastings Street, Noosa Heads
Contact: 07 5447 4566
You can keep your donuts and your cruffins and your cronuts. We’ve discovered Wondernuts! Wonderland Noosa pairs their always-spectacular espresso with the most indulgent pastries you can imagine. These epic Mars Bar-topped, Insta-worthy extravaganzas come with an injectable chocolate custard filling, just in case you were having a bit of a sugar low.
Where: Shop 9/3-7 Thomas Street, Noosaville
Betty’s Classic Stack
A “fattest feed” list, wouldn’t be complete without the classic diner-style burger and shake combo, and Betty’s Burgers doesn’t disappoint. We love to order the Betty’s Classic Stack—an Angus beef patty burger COMBINED with a shroom burger. Then, just add your extra fillings to the stack until it’s appropriately obscene, and dig in! While you can mix and match more flavours than you can imagine for your concretes—aka soft serve ice cream with awesome mix-ins—we can’t go past the Banana Peanut Butter Cup, with a hit of salt and fresh banana. Delish!
Where: Shop 2/50 Hasting Street, Noosa Heads
Contact: 07 5455 4378
Pork Belly Sandwich
Sunshine Beach’s favourite yum cha haunt (and undoubtedly one of the best restaurants in Noosa) hits the road every Sunday to satisfy the early morning cravings of busy shoppers, hung-over boyfriends and tourists alike. The Embassy XO stall at the Noosa Farmers Market is always flat out, so make sure you get in early to snaffle a Pork Belly Sandwich—a deceptively simple name for a stunning combination of a light, fluffy steamed bun filled with rich, twice-cooked pork belly, sesame, house-pickled cucumber, and sriracha chilli. Not spicy enough? Grab the bottle of chilli on the counter and add extra.
Where: Embassy XO stall, Noosa Farmers Market, Weyba Road, Noosaville
Cinnamon Morning Buns
And while you’re at the Noosa Farmers Market, Tanglewood’s Cinnamon Morning Buns expertly manage to condense your weekly recommended intake of butter, sugar and cinnamon (is there a recommended intake of cinnamon? I expect so…) into a very modest-sized swirl of utter deliciousness. The best thing about these buns is the last bite, where the sugar and butter and pastry have caramelised into a little crunchy butterscotch burst of joy. The lemon curd morning buns are a lovely departure from the classic cinnamon, and I’ve even heard a rumour of a chocolate (or was it Nutella?) version that’s been introduced. If you spot one, I’d appreciate a heads up!
Where: Noosa Farmers Market, Weyba Road, Noosaville
Chargrilled Steak (all of them)
We at the Metropolist team often argue over our favourite cuts of meat (‘cause that’s how we foodies roll…) Personally I’ll sacrifice a bit of flavour for the meltingly soft texture of an eye fillet steak, others prefer the extra jaw workout and gamy punch of flavour you find in a well-aged rump (that’s what she said!). While chefs in the know will unequivocally tell you that rib fillet is the happy compromise between flavour and texture. Which makes me think we should probably plan next year’s Metropolist Christmas party at Rump House Noosa, because this place has ALL the bases covered on the chargrilled meat front. And Thursday is locals’ steak night, so put on your stretchy pants and head down for red meat and red wine to share with the carnivore in your life.
Where: Shop 1A, Noosa Marina, 2 Parkyn Court, Tewantin
Contact: 07 5474 4799