Funny

15 Signs You’re A Sunshine Coast Hipster

By Daniel Colasimone - 10 Nov 2016

You know when people say to you, “you’re such a hipster” and you’re like “haha shut up, I am not”?

If this happens fairly frequently, it might be time to consider whether you are, in fact, a hipster. In order to clear up any doubt, we’ve made up this little list of giveaways.

Here are 15 signs you’re a Sunshine Coast hipster.

1. All your friends are hipsters. Turn to your left and look at the person sitting next to you. Now turn to your right. Are you surrounded by hipsters? Okay, that’s not absolute proof of guilt but it’s a decent indication.

2. Grabbing a Chiko roll and flavoured milk after a surf on your single fin is complicated these days. You might have to drive 15 minutes to find a cafe that has paleo, gluten-free Chiko rolls and lime-flavoured almond milk.

3. There are so many layers or irony in your beard/moustache game that you resemble some kind of wandering, gun-slinging pastor from Wyoming, circa 1860.

4. You wear old-school Hang Ten, Hot Buttered, or Hot Tuna beach gear. Your favourite shorts are retro, tiny, and sexy AF.

5. If your coffee was not grown and lovingly harvested by some 80-year-old farmer in the mountains of Costa Rica or Ecuador, your body will straight-up reject it within 20 minutes.

6. Whenever you go to K-Mart you can’t resist buying one of their terrible $10 t-shirts, probably with a picture of a tiger on it, just for the lols.

7. It’s really hard to find the time to get drunk these days when you have to play three DJ sets every weekend.

8. The longest you’ve been without kale in the past three years is, like, 12 hours.

9. You have one pair of everyday Vans and one pair of going-out Vans. You also have a pair of rugged-looking boots which have never touched dirt.

10. Bocconcini is in your top five favourite foods even though it literally has no taste.

11. You continue to have deep regret over ironically voting for Clive Palmer.

12. You have a sixth sense for when a pop-up store or bar is about to, well… pop up. Same goes for food trucks. You scare the crap out of the people running them because you’re already standing there with 10 bucks in your mitt ready to order when they open up their window.

13. Your filter skills are so on point that anyone looking at your Instagram feed would think you actually LIVE INSIDE the 1978 surf film “Big Wednesday”.

14. Pineapples are a big part of your life.

15. As soon as you see a “trend” mentioned on the local news or lifestyle programs, you consider that trend to be dead.

Still not convinced you’re a hipster? Well, surely you must classify as a secret Queensland bogan, then?

Image Credit: Hayley Williamson

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