Sometimes it can be hard to transform three litres of Coolabah Crisp Dry White into something that doesn’t taste like it could remove stubborn mould from bathroom grout. Unfortunately, if you’ve spent all your money on Falls tickets and parking fines like the rest of us, then you don’t really have a choice when it comes to wetting your whistle. You can, however, choose to make it taste less like bathroom cleaner.
Here’s how to make the best, most delicious Goon punch at home.
- 1 white Goon bag
- 2 bottles of mixed berry Passion Pop
- 1 bottle of vodka
- 2 tins of pineapple juice
- 1 bottle of mango juice
- 1 bottle of lemonade
- 1 mango, sliced and diced
- 1 punnet of raspberries
- 1 tin of passionfruit pulp
- First, replace the pillows on your bed. If you’re drinking boxed wine then you probably have no idea that the shelf life of a run-of-the-mill polyester pillow is six months. So you’ve probably been sleeping on a bag of dead skin cells for three years.
- Pop to the shops to grab the all-important Gunch ingredients. Make sure there’s a bottle-o nearby as 80% of the ingredients will get you arrested at a Wiggles concert.
- Head home and slice the mango.
- Take the lids off all the cans and bottles.
- Break the seal on the Goon box.
- POUR EVERYTHING INTO A LARGE LAUNDRY BUCKET TO THE TUNE OF GIVE ME EVERYTHING TONIGHT BY PITBULL.
- Take a picture of it with a Kodak and Instagram it with the caption #tookmylifefromnegativetopositive.
Hungry for more? Check out all of our other rad recipes here.
Image credit: Isaac Smith