When you’ve already blown your annual, sick, bereavement and carer’s leave on streaming GoT live every Monday at home, you’ve gotta start getting creative. Fortunately for you, we’ve put together a list of the most tried and true sick day excuses in the history of hookey.
Here are 24 ‘sick day’ excuses your boss will believe [almost] every time.
- “I fainted in the shower this morning and hit my head on a Lush bath bomb.”
- “My grandmother made sushi with raw chicken last night.”
- “I punctured my cornea while brushing my hair.”
- “I sculled a bottle of Dettol Mouthwash thinking it was isotonic Powerade.”
- “I ate a can of Fancy Feast instead of tuna.”
- “My dog has viral gastro and my house has white carpets.”
- “I developed rheumatoid arthritis in my hands from working so late last night.”
- “It’s my time of the month and it appears to be a particularly heavy flow.”
- “I went to bed with wet hair and woke up with pneumonia.”
- “I went swimming at the beach and microscopic water insects ate my legs.”
- “I ate a packet of the ‘new’ recipe BBQ shapes and had a severe reaction to the foreign bodies.”
- “The electric blanket was left on 3 all night and I woke up with severe dehydration.”
- “I heard my neighbour coughing last night and accidentally touched his car door handle this morning.”
- “I got bitten by a feral cat while I was putting the bins out last night.”
- “I flew home from Bali yesterday and still have some residual jet lag.”
- “Smoke from the neighbour’s woodfire triggered delayed-onset asthma.”
- “I didn’t realise ham and cheese toasties had gluten in them.”
- “I thought the packet said take two pills forty times a day.”
- “I broke my wrist trying to unscrew my KeepCup.”
- “My cat was diagnosed with feline depression and the Dr Harry website says it’s contagious.”
- “I accidentally kept my eyes open while I was setting my makeup with hairspray.”
- And if all else fails, just mention the word ‘fallopian’ in the first sentence of your email.
"I ate a 1-kilogram doughnut" could be another reason because they now exists on the Sunshine Coast. Read about them here.
Image credit: Priscilla Du Preez