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30 First World Problems New Zealanders Need To Get Over

By Olivia Atkinson - 24 May 2017

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Let’s be real, New Zealand truly is a beautiful country to live in. Gorgeous natural landscapes and friendly locals give this little country we call home its unique charm. However, as good as New Zealand can be, we still find ourselves complaining over the smallest things that in the end, are not really that big of a deal.

Here’s our list of 30 little things can irritate almost any Kiwi:

1. Being woken by sunlight seeping through so blinds so assume it’ll be a sunny day and ditch the umbrella at home but five minutes later you encounter buckets of rain.

2. You’ve finally found that perfect LBD while shopping online, the one that you know you won’t be able to find in New Zealand—and they have your size in stock! BUT… when you go to calculate the shipping fee, it ends up costing a third of the price of the dress.

3. You’re on Twitter and keep seeing tweets about a hilarious new comedy film while your Facebook feed is filled with memes about it but find out the NZ release date is two months behind the rest of the world.

4. Your favourite artist has finally announced they’re coming for a concert but it’s only for two shows in Auckland and Wellington. If you don’t live in those cities, you now have to pay for a ticket AND sort out transport and accommodation.

5. Even worse, your favourite artist has announced a “world tour” but ends the final leg of their tour in Australia and skips out on New Zealand.

6. Cleaning your house on a Monday night because Tuesday is when the cleaner comes. 

7. You keep hearing about severe weather warnings and have to rework your social plans around them.

8. All of your overseas friends keep asking you to pay them a visit but when you ask the same from them, they act like New Zealand is too much of a mission to get to.

9. You’ll drop $4 on a coffee without any hesitation but a $4 bus ride seems like a bit of a stretch.

10. The weather gets so wet in New Zealand that you protect your umbrella the same way you protect your wallet and get paranoid someone will steal it when you have to leave it in the bucket outside the restaurant.

11. You’ve lost track of when the school holidays end so find yourself caught up in hour-long traffic when the term starts again.

12. Lewis Road has just released a new limited-edition milk and you get serious FOMO when all your friends have already tried it but it keeps selling out at your local supermarket.

13. Any time your favourite New Zealand sports team competes overseas, the time zone messes with your plans to watch it live and you make excuses to leave the office for ten minutes just to get a peek at any updates on the score.

14. Knowing eyebrows are on trend but not being able to grow them because you over-plucked them in your teens.

15. You’re looking like a hot mess after your intense gym workout and end up bumping into and making small talk with five different people because New Zealand is so small that it’s inevitable you run into people you know at the most inconvenient times.

16. You plan to squeeze in a quick run by the McDonald’s drive through during your half-hour lunch break and end up stuck in line with everyone else that had the same idea.

17. You go out for a casual date night and return to your car to find out the cost of your parking is equivalent to the price of your dinner meal.

18. Popcorn and soft drinks are exorbitantly priced at the movies, thus infringing on your basic human right to scoff excessive amounts of salt and sugar while you sit on your bottom being entertained for two hours. 

19. You want to get passionate about politics but it’s impossible to find a Kiwi politician to support who isn’t a complete douche (apart from you, Jacinda, oh and you, Nikki, xoxo). 

20. You can’t have a decent argument with your mates anymore. Any facts can be proven or disproven within seconds by the interwebs. 

21. You really need to get every 10th coffee for free because you’re a tight arse, but you’re trying to look cool in front of the cool barista and don’t want to seem desperate to get your loyalty card stamped every damn day. 

22. You kick yourself because you accidently bought thin-slice Vogels. Why do they even offer that as an option?

23. Just because you shovel food faster than your friend or boo, society expects you to sit there in a state of crippling boredom and wait for them to finish their own meal, rather than just wandering off and doing something fun, like lying on the couch. 

24. Not only must you suffer the indignity of needing two or three remote controls to work the telly, you have to go through the tedious process of explaining which one to use when guests stay. If those guests are your parents, you basically have to write off half a day while they get the hang of it. 

25. You only got one dipping sauce with your 20 pack of McNuggets and you have to ration it out like it’s WW1. 

26. When you look at the clothes overflowing in your wardrobe and realise you have nothing to wear.

27. So you decide to clear out your closet but when you take your clothes to the bin it hasn’t been cleared out in a month and so you leave said clothes to be ruined in the pouring rain.

28. It’s critically important that you listen to phat choons while cruising around in your Golf, but at the top of the hour every radio station has to play like five minutes of news. Was there a vote on the first day of radio that all the news has to be at the same time? Why can’t they stagger it so badasses like yourself can get their funk on 24/7?

29. You’d really like to Snapchat your chia bowl at that cute café but it’s day four of the month and you’ve already blown your data allocation because New Zealand’s mobile plans actually suck balls. 

30. The painful realisation that you’re watching live TV can’t fast forward through the ads.

Written by Olivia Atkinson and Courtney Nuyad.

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