Listers, I. Am. Hyped. Why, you ask? Unless you’ve been hiding under a swag-repellent rock this week, you’ll know that our boy Drizzy’s just touched down on Australian shores. That’s right, Canadia’s greatest export (in addition to maple-cured bacon, obvs) is bringing his signature brand of urban #feels to Melbourne’s metropolis. There’ll be laughter. There’ll be tears. There’ll be real-life truthbombs about how jealousy is just love and hate AT THE SAME TIME. Woah. Drake, man, you got me.
So, where you gonna find the Young Money superstar during his stay down under? Here’s my own personal hit-list of possibilities*, based on what I know of Toronto’s kid done good. Y’all can thank me later.
The Prince, St Kilda
That’s where all the international-but-not-quite-mainstream-royalty acts stay, right? Actually, my cash-money’s only on Drake staying in The Prince because I once met Radiohead there. Um, next…
Harrold’s, Melbourne CBD
Since starting from the bottom, ol’ Aubrey’s come a loooong way, and thankfully he’s ditched the dodgy sweaters and developed a taste for the finer things in life. We guarantee he’ll drop into Harrold’s to stock up on some fresh new threads and, if he’s not splashing out on clothing, he’ll at least pick up a fragrance or two. That’s what that Tuscan Leather song’s about, guys—the Tom Ford fragrance, not shopping for animal hides in central Italy.
Sneakerboy, Melbourne CBD
When he’s not stepping out in his own signature Jordans, Drake loves a designer sneaker, and there’s no better place to find them in Melbourne than luxury sneaker store, Sneakerboy.
99 Problems, Collingwood
Jay Z’s Black Album legacy lives on in Collingwood of all places! If Aubrey’s thirsty—and we mean it in the traditional ‘I need a drink’ sense, not the ‘I’d love to pash that hot mamma’ sense—we bet he’ll stop by here for a beer. Even an international rap god couldn’t resist 99 Problems’ epic happy hour!
Somewhere that serves cake
This is another one that we bet Drizzy’s inherited from Jay Z, who preached about cake’s many wonders on that Drake album that had his head and a bunch of clouds on the cover (‘Nothing Was The Same,’ for all you so-called fans who downloaded it under legally suspicious circumstances and therefore never saw the artwork). Let’s face it, Jay’s verse is one of the laziest in rap history—‘Look at my neck, I got a carrot cake / Now here's the icing on the cake / Cake, cake, cake, cake, cake…’ (how he wooed Queen Bey, we’ll never know)—but damn, he really does love cake.
If you don’t see him hanging around any bakeries, maybe bake him one yourself?
In the club on a Tuesday
Alright, so I don’t actually know which club and, to be honest, Drizzy’s got a pretty hectic schedule while visiting our beautiful country, but judging by the sentiments he expressed in this track where he features alongside a gent called Makonnen, Tuesday is his clubbing evening of choice.
Hip-hop Karaoke at Boney, Melbourne CBD
Dear Lord Yeezus, please, for the love of all things hip-hop, let Drake turn up at next Thursday’s hip-hop karaoke in Boney. I’ll even volunteer my talents for the soulful female guest vocals on all of his slow jams.
Melbourne Zoo, Parkville
We heard he’s got a thing for anacondas…
*Disclaimer: The only places we can actually guarantee you’ll find Drake are the Rod Laver Arena tomorrow night (Friday 27th February), and Future music festival on Sunday 8th March. Unfortunately Rod Laver is a sell-out but you can still get tickets for Future, where you can catch a whole host of other worthy acts.
If you didn’t get tickets for Drake’s show this weekend, check out new Collingwood bar, Rupert, this Sunday 1st March, where they’ll be playing all-Drake, all day. We’ll see you at the bar, fam. The Henney’s on us.
Image credit: Kiss925