84 Thoughts We Had While Watching Episode 4 Of The Gilmore Girls Revival

If you're a die-hard fan, you were watching this at midnight on Friday night and had not even had a hot milo break since you sat down four and a half hours ago with your Crust pizza, because you weren't going to have a wink of sleep until you heard THOSE LAST FOUR WORDS.

These are the thoughts I had during the final episode of the Gilmore Girls Revival:

1. Ok, if Melissa McCarthy doesn’t show up for more than 6 seconds in this episode, I’ll sue.
2. Like, I’m not even joking, try me Amy Sherman-Palladino, I’ve got almost nothing to live for now that Grey’s Anatomy has gone to the dogs.
3. Plot twist, Lorelai isn’t shacking up with Christopher; she’s actually going hiking because nothing clears your mind like the beauty of nature and third degree sunburn.
4. Lorelai is every year 7 on school camp. Except she DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THERE.
5. Oooh there’s a storm coming and people might die – nice try Amy, but you can’t die if you’re rich.
6. Lorelai’s definitely still going though, because if there’s one thing this show’s taught us it’s that women are fiercely independent beings, and that if a man offers you large sums of money, you take it.
7. How is the Stars Hollow Gazette office an actual office with employees and not someone’s kitchen table??
8. Oooh yes, more Jess time, let’s see how many girlfriends he can mistreat in the next 16 seconds.
9. Give him relationship advice, Jess. Tell him to fight a swan.
10. Luke’s so lost without Lorelai.
11. It’s like when Claire died on McLeod’s Daughters just as Alex was about to propose.
12. And like that time a tree fell on Alex on his way home from the airport and he filmed himself dying so Stevie would never have a full night’s sleep again.
13. McLeod’s Daughters is the most underrated show that’s ever been on television.
14. Mhmm - Jess can pull my modem out.
15. Yass finally, something we can relate to - boxed wine solves errrrthing.
16. Stars Hollow is gaw-juss in autumn.
17. THE LIFE AND DEATH AND BAGS OF MONEY BRIGADE.
18. Finn makes the Australian accent so sexy. Contrary to that guy they interviewed on the Today Show last week that chased a car in his knickers. #straya
19. Petition to make him the next Bachelor, spouse or not. #whatwouldRorydo
20. Leave Rory alone, Logan, she needs to find a nice SINGLE man.
21. Like, how much fkng money do these men have??
22. If I had a dollar for every time someone handed me the keys to a mansion with a cook and a cleaner so I could watch Youtube videos nine hours a day, I’D HAVE NO DOLLARS.
23. I hate when I go out with my friends and they buy the entire hotel.
24. Omg Rory no, don’t get frisky with the taken man.
25. Where’s the strong independent woman your mother raised??
26. Probably accepting job offers in a parallel universe.
27. HOW CAN ROREY AFFORD TO SUMMON A CAR, SHE’S THE EDITOR OF THE STARS HOLLOW GAZETTE.
28. Let this man go, Rory.
29. Do not kiss him again.
30. For Christ’s sake.
31. Who is this poor broad Logan is cheating on thrice a week?
32. Have you no respect, Rory?
33. (Have you no debt, Rory?)
34. ANOTHER Parenthood cameo.
35. IT’S LAUREN GRAHAM’S HER REAL LIFE LOVERRR. (Stop flirting, Lorelai, this isn't the real life).
36. These people literally throw money away.
37. Luke just fed a steak to the dog.
38. Aww Luke thinks Lorelai is going to leave him.
39. He probably watched the trailer too.
40. Plot twist: “I think we should get married”.
41. Thank gawd, the trailer made it look like they were fo’ sho’ breaking up.
42. Emily is F-I-E-R-C-E in casual wear.
43. Why do they keep playing the theme song in the middle of episodes??
44. Aww she’s going to write her book in Richard’s office. (Creepy bitch).
45. She’s already written the bloody book.
46. Throw it at her Lorelai!
47. ‘The Gilmore Girls’ – how on earth did Condé Nast not make her Editor??
48. Yes, let’s celebrate Rory’s abject defiance of her mother’s privacy with a box of pop tarts.
49. How are they both not dead from type 2 diabetes yet?
50. YES, EMILY EXPLOSION. EMILY WILL EAT BIKKIES WITHOUT A SERVIETTE IF SHE DAMN WELL WANTS TO.
51. The pop culture references, the sass, EMILY IS LORELAI.
52. SAY BULLSHIT AGAIN EMILY. SAY IT.
53. Meanwhile Rory is totally having a secret meeting about the book.
54. Or she’s pregnant.
55. Nope, it’s Christopher!!
56. Another rich family member. You go Rory.
57. Where’s GG? (Who cares.)
58. Christopher is bragging about how much money he has. “Do you need some money? I have lots of money”
59. Take it Rory.
60. “I like your office”, of course you do Rory, it cost more than your childhood.
61. DEAN. You saucy beast. Your hair is delicious.
62. Why are you asking if he’ll be in your book Rory? You’re just going to put him in there anyway.
63. MELISSA MCCARTHY YAAAAAAAAAS. We can all die now.
64. Look at Emily putting on canvas shoes, her psychological transformation is VERY evident.
65. She works at the museum for Christ’s sake.
66. Someone tell Rory to an epilogue to her memoir.
67. Don’t let her publish the book, Lorelai. Give her some money to stop, she loves that shit.
68. Oh no, Jess and Rory are going to end up together. #unpopularopinion #teamPaul #justjoking #teamKirk
69. HE NEVER TREATED YOU RIGHT RORY.
70. HE PUNCHED A SWAN.
71. At least Lorelai’s taking Rory with her when she elopes this time.
72. The wedding decorations are definitely where they blew the McCarthy budget.
73. It’s almost worth it.
74. Emily deserves all the happiness in the world; in fact Emily deserves her own spin off.
75. Lol Paul dumped Rory.
76. “I treated him so badly” “No you didn’t Rory”. YES YOU DID RORY.
77. What happened to baby Gilmore?
78. She’s had everything short of a single boyfriend handed to her on a silver platter.
79. Even the infamous last four words.
80. “Rory’s up the duff.”
81. This show has gone full circle.
82. I can't wait to watch Logan try and break up Rory & Jess' relationship in twenty years, therefore causing long-term psychological damage to Lorelai IV who'll consequently never be able to accept paid employment, just generous financial donations from a string of authoritative male figures.
83. But I don’t care because I am so god damn impressed with how many cast members they managed to bring back.
84. Take note, Grey’s Anatomy.

Image credit: Screen Rant