30 First World Problems New Zealanders Need To Get Over

By Olivia Atkinson
9th Apr 2018

30 First World Problems New Zealanders Need To Get Over

Let’s be real, New Zealand truly is a beautiful country to live in. Gorgeous natural landscapes and friendly locals give this little country we call home its unique charm. However, as good as New Zealand can be, we still find ourselves complaining over the smallest things that in the end, are not really that big of a deal.

Here’s our list of 30 little things can irritate almost any Kiwi:

1. Being woken by sunlight seeping through your blinds so assume it’ll be a sunny day and ditch the umbrella at home but five minutes later you encounter buckets of rain.

2. You’ve found the perfect dress online, it’s in-stock, available in your size and even does international shipping. Just as you’re about to check out, you realize that the shipping fee costs more than half your dress.

3. You’re on Twitter and keep seeing tweets about a hilarious new comedy film while your Facebook feed is filled with memes about it but find out the New Zealand release date is two months behind the rest of the world.

4. Concert tickets end up being a fortune for those who don’t live in Auckland and Wellington because of added flights and accommodation. Our fave international artists seem to think that New Zealand only has two cities.

5. Even worse, your favourite artist has announced a “world tour” but ends the final leg of their tour in Australia and skips out on New Zealand.

6. Cleaning your house on a Monday night because Tuesday is when the cleaner comes. 

7. Severe weather warnings about cyclones and storms that never end up actually happening and leading us to get trust issues.

8. All of your overseas friends keep asking you to pay them a visit but when you ask the same from them, they act like New Zealand is too much of a mission to get to.

9. All you need to do is top up your HOP Card but the machine at your local bus station is “temporarily not in service”. How long is temporary? That’s a whole new problem we won’t even get in to.

10. When all the cafés start swapping out your fave, overpriced smashed avocado to smashed pumpkin, it’s just not the same.

11. You’ve lost track of when the school holidays end so find yourself caught up in hour-long traffic when the term starts again.

12. When you get an umbrella as a gift which is pretty lame to begin with and it isn’t even a Blunt.

13. Any time your favourite New Zealand sports team competes overseas, the time zone messes with your plans to watch it live and you make excuses to leave the office for ten minutes just to get a peek at any updates on the score.

14. The lack of public bathrooms make you resort to spending 4 bucks on a coffee, just to use their toilet.

15. You’re looking like a hot mess after your intense gym workout and end up bumping into and making small talk with five different people because New Zealand is so small that it’s inevitable you run into people you know at the most inconvenient times.

16. You plan to squeeze in a quick run by the McDonald’s drive through during your half-hour lunch break and end up stuck in line with everyone else that had the same idea.

17. You go out for a casual date night and return to your car to find out the cost of your parking is equivalent to the price of your dinner meal.

18. Popcorn and soft drinks are exorbitantly priced at the movies, thus infringing on your basic human right to scoff excessive amounts of salt and sugar while you sit on your bottom being entertained for two hours. 

19. When your local McDonald’s isn’t open for 24 hours so you have to end your drunk night on an empty stomach.

20. When there’s a shortage of kumara so BurgerFuel puts a hold on their infamous kumara fries. 

21. You really need to get every 10th coffee for free because you’re a tight arse, but you’re trying to look cool in front of the cool barista and don’t want to seem desperate to get your loyalty card stamped every damn day. 

22. You kick yourself because you accidently bought thin-slice Vogels. Why do they even offer that as an option?

23. Just because you shovel food faster than your friend or boo, society expects you to sit there in a state of crippling boredom and wait for them to finish their own meal, rather than just wandering off and doing something fun, like lying on the couch. 

24. Not only must you suffer the indignity of needing two or three remote controls to work the telly, you have to go through the tedious process of explaining which one to use when guests stay. If those guests are your parents, you basically have to write off half a day while they get the hang of it. 

25. You only got one dipping sauce with your 20 pack of McNuggets and you have to ration it out like it’s WW1. 

26. Speaking of dipping sauces, when you forget to get extra aioli and the life-saving doofer from BurgerFuel.

27. When “that’s not on the menu anymore” is the most common thing said by the staff at your favourite café. Is updating their website too much to ask?

28. It’s critically important that you listen to phat choons while cruising around in your Golf, but at the top of the hour every radio station has to play like five minutes of news.

29. You’d really like to Snapchat your chia bowl at that cute café but it’s day four of the month and you’ve already blown your data allocation because New Zealand’s mobile plans actually suck balls. 

30. The painful realisation that you’re watching live TV can’t fast forward through the ads.

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