40 Thoughts We All Had While Watching First Dates New Zealand

By Olivia Atkinson
7th Nov 2016

40 Thoughts We All Had While Watching First Dates New Zealand

Another week, another gripping expisode of First Dates New Zealand. There’s something about watching other people fumble their way through a blind date that is oh-so entertaining (does this make us cruel?!). Here’s what we—and most likely you—were thinking as we judged from the comfort of our couch this week.  

  1. Let the matchmaking and awkward chat commence!
  2. Industrial abseiler? What dat?
  3. 55kg weight loss is impressive. You go guy, lookin' good. 
  4. “The kids and puberty and vibrators.” comment.  
  5. Straight for the drinks list. Where are your manners, Emma?
  6. Keelan’s back! 
  7. “I’ll have the bottle.” Yep, he’s definitely back. 
  8. Oliver, no! Rule number one of dating: don’t go waxing yourself willy nilly for just anyone. 
  9. Seriously, a full body wax would not be a fun time. 
  10. Please don’t eat poor Oli alive, Keelan.
  11. “I like brunettes.” Awkward because your date is as blonde as they come. 
  12. “I’m only 21. Not a day over 21.” Could have fooled us. 
  13. “God, I hope it’s not 37” Awkward again because she’s 36. 
  14. Saved by the entree!
  15. A transgender bird that comes to work with you everyday? Where can we get one of those?
  16. AND it's called Khaleesi?! We'll take one. 
  17. Game of Thrones a deal breaker? For real?
  18. Being kicked off tinder is a solid feat. 
  19. “Compared to your first date, am I better than them?” Deep-sea fishing for compliments right there, Oliver. 
  20. Who yarns about passing out in a Thailand strip club on national television? Oh, Matthew. Matthew does. 
  21. “I think everyone’s mean and if they’re not, they’re just lying.” That’s one heck of a life philosophy, Sarah. 
  22. Probably a good time to introduce yourselves, guys… 
  23. It’s wine, not water, Keelan! 
  24. “F*** my life, f*** my life.” He’s not that awful Oli. 
  25. Deep and meaningfuls with your waitress while your date is in the bathroom. Probably not the first time this has happened. 
  26. “Is Holland in Europe?” Oh no... 
  27. “How old is he?!” They’re twins! How do you think twins work?
  28. If anyone is going to talk directly to the bathroom camera it’s Keelan.
  29. Hahaha, this meme debate is great. 
  30. “What would you do if I kissed you on the lips?” Eeeep, straight to it. 
  31. Nawh, Jade and Jay would make beautiful babies. 
  32. “I think you’re a really cool friend, if I’m honest.” WHAT?! Sad face. Poor Keelan.
  33. “You must be gutted.” Crickets...
  34. So. Much. Awkwardness. Oh to be a teen again. 
  35. “I’m going to say no straight away.” Poor fella buys you dinner and you don’t even give him a chance? Boooo. 
  36. “You look amazing by the way. Took my breath away when you walked in.” What an absolute charmer you are, Matthew. 
  37. And picking up the bill? You got this in the bag. 
  38. Matthew might have tamed the mean girl. 
  39. And he got a peck on the cheek! Nice. 
  40. I wonder how many wines Keelan actually drank. 

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Image credit: TVNZ

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