Horoscopes: Your Co(s)mic Week Ahead

By Steph Lenehan
6th Dec 2016

Ho ho holy crap it’s December. We bet you’re thinking: How did that even happen? Did 2016 skip a month somewhere without telling you? Where have you been? What is to come? How many stars are in the sky? Do synonyms actually exist? Who has all the answers?—We do. Like, all of them. Let’s just say we’re as good as a Bunnings snag on a Saturday afternoon.


Good news for you financially this week, friends! Yay! What is one to do with all that monetary goodness? Save it? Donate it? OR… Just spit-balling here… Going out for a crazy-good Japanese feed.

Where you need to go this weekend: Say konichiwa to full bellies here.


Everything is falling into place this week! But keep an eye on pesky business deals and partners. People tend to go a little crazy when budgets and deadlines approach. But the best way to deal with that is a nice cold drink and classic pub meal.

Where you need to go this weekend: The Cav will suit you perfectly.


Love is everywhere you look around, from the couple’s sharing an ice-cream to the ones who cannot control their PDA. How about, instead of boring and annoying all your friends why not just soak up all the lovey-dovey romance with just the two of you?

Where you need to go this weekend: Sweet, sweet love with sweet, sweet treats here.


The moon has got your back this week meaning nothing can go wrong. Maybe not in the traditional sense of everything going right, just that everything will work out by the weekend. Cocktails are a true representation of how mixing things together can create miracles.

Where you need to go this weekend: Drinks here, drinks there, drinks everywhere.


This week someone shows their true colours, and we don’t just mean their awful Cyndi Lauper impersonation. Take this time to stop judging books by their covers and really look into what’s behind the door.

Where you need to go this weekend: Don’t overlook hidden gems like this.


Your stars are practically rearranging themselves from the lion to the phrase ‘YOLO’ this week. You’ve stressed about everything there is before you even needed to, and now is the time to shove it all into the bin and be free from worry.

Where you need to go this weekend: This place is fine-dining at it’s finest.


This week is a mystery, we tried to read your stars but they were all in your eyes. Sorry for being so cheesy, but you are smashing this life thing and you’re looking mighty fine doing it. We hope you’re being spoiled like you deserve. But if not, go ahead and spoil yourself.

Where you need to go this weekend: Fab ice block cocktails with your name alllllllll over them here


Lucky you Libra, your stars are bouncing around your house like a second-hand jumping castle that you didn’t buy at a garage sale. While the stars are washing you in good vibes you should invest a little time in yourself and soak them up.

Where you need to go this weekend: Let tranquillity wash over you here.


Hey Scorpies, this week Mercury is trying to block you from your goals, left, right and centre. But you’re tougher than some stupid planet. How big can it be anyway? *googles Mercury * Oh well, we still believe in you! After smashing all obstacles, we have a reward for you.

Where you need to go this weekend: Get curried away here


Your selfless ways have not gone unnoticed by the powers that be, who are also responsible for your star-sign. They have admired your generosity and rewarded you by placing a lovely little Pluto in your corner. That’s where that feeling, that little push for you to treat yourself comes from.

Where you need to go this weekend: Pamper yourself while tidying up loose ends here.


With Mars in your views this week you may feel overwhelmed by your never-ending to-do list. The key to productivity is to throw away the tasks you really don’t want to do and let the future you deal with your boss. This way the present you has this weekend totally free.

Where you need to go this weekend: Treat the present you to a little present here.


You have been bitten by the travel bug this week, not sure what that has to do with your star sign thought, maybe a travelling alien bit you? Regardless, you have zero dollar, dollar bills to spend on fancy European adventure. Luckily, this fantastic super city has boundless plates (of food) to share.

Where you need to go this weekend: Pack the car, grab a deso and head north!

Design Credit: Gabrielle Stjernqvist

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