Remember when love was well and truly in the air and your ears couldn’t hear anything past the copious amounts of sweet nothings? Yeah, us neither.
As the honeymoon period comes to an abrupt stop on the love train and we begin to learn the real ins and outs of one another, what started off as a match made in heaven becomes a boxing match in hell. Here’s the truth: whether you like it or not, couples argue. And about the silliest of stuff too—from using your expensive, specialised shampoo as shower gel or leaving the seat up, we are all guilty.
Forget marriage counselling and serious sit-downs. Instead, pull them close, show them this list and get ready to feel a hell of a lot more normal!
1. Failing to decide what to eat: never trust someone who says they don’t mind, they do mind and they know exactly what they want—the entire contents of a KFC family banquet bucket, duh.
2. Taking up the bed: these days spooning is left for the cutlery draw and if you’re a centimetre over your other half’s territory, expect full-on bedtime bedlam!
3. Even worse, snoring.
4. Spending three hours deciding on which film to watch: by the time you’ve finished arguing, you could have watched the entire Harry Potter series back to back.
5. Washing the damn dishes: leaving something to ‘soak’ for three days is not ok!
6. Choosing what music gets played in the car: when we say Shania, you say Twain! Shania! Twain!
7. Flicking through the radio stations to find all of the bangers.
8. Answering the doorbell: each will run to the furthest point possible just to say the other one is closer.
9. Buying toilet rolls: and threatening to use their favourite shirt, towel or the cat instead of giving in.
10. Admitting who is wrong: call up your attorney, pull in an independent adjudicator and get ready to fight until the death. Okay, well maybe just until the other one bows down and waves the white flag, that will also do.
11. Checking out a hot person: the phrase ‘you can look but you can’t touch’ was obviously created by a very stupid and extremely single person.
12. The ex: and you thought Voldemort was the one that should not be named!
13. Spending money: if an outfit makes you look fabulous, it’s a bargain, right?
14. Yelling at the TV: The game show contestant can’t hear your ‘correct’ answer or your incessant insults!
15. Working out which way to go: the Sat Nav and smartphone are wrong, you know it’s 100% left. Or maybe 91%. Either way, you’re right and this turn is not!
16. Always being on the phone: unless you’re liking every single one of my photos or bidding on our new dream home, put it down!
17. Leaving the toilet seat down: why oh why is this deemed such an impossible task?!
18. Doing the laundry: purposely mixing colours to show that you are in fact incapable, isn’t going to ride with us buddy!
19. Spending more time with friends: FIFA, beers and farting comps nor crying seshes to The Notebook with DIY mani kits in hand aren’t what we signed up for, funnily enough.
20. Being compared to the ‘mother’: The devil would have a tough job stepping into her shoes!
21. Farting: Chivalry is well and truly dead.
Image Credit: Mr and Mrs Smith