Funny

23 Things You Should Never (Ever) Say To A Noosa Local

By Trixie Hillen - 09 May 2017

We Noosa locals have a reputation for being very chilled and Zen. We do our yoga at sunrise, sip our turmeric lattes, and are at one with everything.

But if you cross us; if you dare to insult the things we love; if you don’t appreciate the things that make Noosa one of the best places on Earth… well… we will kinda get a bit irritated and probably ask you really politely not to do it again. Then we’ll shuffle over on our yoga mat to make room for you, and order you a turmeric latte.

But still, we’ll be pretty hurt inside. So if you care about our feelings at ALL, these are a few things you probably shouldn’t say to us.

1. So, how’s that NBN coming along?

2. Rob Brough? What a loser.

3. But… Main Beach doesn’t even have any waves?

4. Clandestino? Never heard of it.

5. So, we just grab a rainbow doughnut unicorn cake from Chester Street whenever we want.

6. What you guys really need is some kind of light rail.

7. So was anyone actually born in Noosa? Or did you all move here from Sydney and Melbourne?

8. It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.

9. OMG what’s with the roundabouts?

10. Oh yeah, we stayed in Noosa once. I think it was Caloundra.

11. Messina is the ONLY place to get gelato, baby.

12. The police really need to crack down on those pervs at A-Bay.

13. I went to the Noosa Surf Club carpark and got a parking spot in about 10 seconds!

14. I’m not going in Noosa River. I’ve heard there’s bull sharks.

15. Well why didn’t you guys just stay part of Sunshine Coast Council anyway?

16. Byron is waaaay better for a beach holiday.

17. You guys should totally sort out the traffic on Hastings Street in summer. Seriously.

18. Oh yeah, we get ALL the big international acts playing at our local venue.

19. The coffee in Melbourne is WAY better.

20. So, do you see Richard Branson around town often?

21. Mooloolaba really does have the best breaks.

22. So, why isn’t Noosa Beach right next to Noosa Junction?

23. Pfft, SUP yoga looks EASY.

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Image Credit: Amy Higg for Metropolist

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