Funny

21 Things That Are So Sydney It Hurts

By Anna May - 28 Oct 2015

you-know-you-live-in-sydney-when

So, you think you can Sydney? There’s no doubt it’s a special place for special people. People who can justify a $30 breakfast and have no problem telling their taxi driver where to shove it. 

And because we love this city more than we love an artery-clogging food hybrid on the side of our green juice, we’ve come up with 21 things that are just saaaah Sydney it hurts.

  1. Waiting two-and-a-half hours for a corner table at a new restaurant or café, then going out of your way to make sure the bearded waiter likes you.
  2. Accepting your food is cold by the time you eat it because you took so long to get the perfect Insta.
  3. Paying 2.5x the usual Uber fare because busses are out of the question and, well, cabs smell.
  4. Not blinking twice when someone charges you an extra $6 for a slice of avocado with your eggs.
  5. Swearing off the Easter Show after the age of 12, only to return to that hellhole upon procreating. 
  6. Getting into a fight with your taxi or Uber driver when he takes the ‘scenic’ route.
  7. Thinking $350 a week is reasonable for your room in a shoebox apartment.
  8. Shedding a tear when your train line is replaced by a thrice-as-long bus.
  9. Putting up an Instagram of a sunrise or Bondi Beach and trying to think of an original caption.
  10. Assuring people there will be insane amounts of action to be controlled at Jamberoo Recreation Park. But never actually going.
  11. Asking someone where they went to school immediately after you meet. Then asking them if they know XYZ (you did dance with them in primary school and your ex-boyfriend hooked up with them a few times). 
  12. Getting into heated arguments over the best burger in Sydney.
  13. Going to the races looking classy, coming home looking like an exorcism.
  14. Having the chips you waited an hour for stolen out of your bare hands by a seagull. 
  15. Losing your mind over the Tella Ball milkshakes when they first came out.
  16. Buying chlorophyll before someone reminded you that you were not, in fact, a plant and it wouldn’t do anything to benefit you.
  17. Ordering an almond milk coffee from a bespectacled barista and pretending to like it.
  18. Trying to talk your way into a bar after lockout and failing miserably before heading to the friendly kebab shop down the road.
  19. Eaten your way around Newtown’s plethora of $5 dinners while you were at uni.
  20. Bought insanely expensive activewear with absolutely no intention of working out in it. 
  21. Felt an overwhelming sense of pride when you take an out-of-towner on a wild goose chase around Sydney’s CBD to find a hidden bar with not a worry in the world.

Does this make you want to see our city in all its glory? Check out our list of 50 things to do in Sydney under $20.


Image credit: Kansas City Shuffle

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