So, you think you can Sydney? There’s no doubt it’s a special place for special people. People who can justify a $30 breakfast and have no problem telling their taxi driver where to shove it.
And because we love this city more than we love an artery-clogging food hybrid on the side of our green juice, we’ve come up with 21 things that are just saaaah Sydney it hurts.
- Waiting two-and-a-half hours for a corner table at a new restaurant or café, then going out of your way to make sure the bearded waiter likes you.
- Accepting your food is cold by the time you eat it because you took so long to get the perfect Insta.
- Paying 2.5x the usual Uber fare because busses are out of the question and, well, cabs smell.
- Not blinking twice when someone charges you an extra $6 for a slice of avocado with your eggs.
- Swearing off the Easter Show after the age of 12, only to return to that hellhole upon procreating.
- Getting into a fight with your taxi or Uber driver when he takes the ‘scenic’ route.
- Thinking $350 a week is reasonable for your room in a shoebox apartment.
- Shedding a tear when your train line is replaced by a thrice-as-long bus.
- Putting up an Instagram of a sunrise or Bondi Beach and trying to think of an original caption.
- Assuring people there will be insane amounts of action to be controlled at Jamberoo Recreation Park. But never actually going.
- Asking someone where they went to school immediately after you meet. Then asking them if they know XYZ (you did dance with them in primary school and your ex-boyfriend hooked up with them a few times).
- Getting into heated arguments over the best burger in Sydney.
- Going to the races looking classy, coming home looking like an exorcism.
- Having the chips you waited an hour for stolen out of your bare hands by a seagull.
- Losing your mind over the Tella Ball milkshakes when they first came out.
- Buying chlorophyll before someone reminded you that you were not, in fact, a plant and it wouldn’t do anything to benefit you.
- Ordering an almond milk coffee from a bespectacled barista and pretending to like it.
- Trying to talk your way into a bar after lockout and failing miserably before heading to the friendly kebab shop down the road.
- Eaten your way around Newtown’s plethora of $5 dinners while you were at uni.
- Bought insanely expensive activewear with absolutely no intention of working out in it.
- Felt an overwhelming sense of pride when you take an out-of-towner on a wild goose chase around Sydney’s CBD to find a hidden bar with not a worry in the world.
Does this make you want to see our city in all its glory? Check out our list of 50 things to do in Sydney under $20.
Image credit: Kansas City Shuffle