Some people consider not wanting tiny humans a relationship deal breaker, others won't date a person that can't make them laugh. But committing these deadly sins will see you swiftly kicked to the curb if you're dating a foodie. Here are the 30 relationship deal breakers for every Melbourne foodie.
#1 They don’t share food.
#2 The words “I’m not hungry” are uttered more than once a year, the only acceptable occasion being post-Christmas lunch, dinner, and dessert. Even then we’d prefer not to hear it.
#3 They don’t plan dinners 24-hours in advance. Who doesn’t know what they’re eating for dinner when they wake up in the morning?!
#4 They don’t like waiting more than 15 minutes for a table.
#5 They’re not willing to wait more than an hour for a table because that’s (air-quote) “ridiculous”. Pssht.
#6 They tell you that you spend too much money on food. Don’t tell me how to live my life.
#7 They criticise you for eating authentic street food when you travel, and throughout the next day when you inevitably regret eating that dish which possibly had some kind of meat in it and possibly didn’t.
#8 They don’t like chocolate. Just leave.
#9 They say, “but you just ate”. So what?
#10 They order the first thing they see on the menu. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#11 They ask you if you’re “seriously going to eat that”.
#12 When you offer them the last bite of your amazing meal, they eat it.
#13 They eat any of the following: low-fat frozen meals, beef instant noodles, and/or home brand vanilla ice cream.
#14 They don’t eat out at least once a week.
#15 They don’t understand how the highlight of your day can be eating dinner and then sleeping.
#16 They don’t understand what “the hype is about cheese”. You realise they’re not so grate.
#17 They don’t consider dessert a necessity. But then what are you supposed to look forward to after dinner?
#18 They get embarrassed when you take pictures of food.
#19 Sometimes they skip meals because they “just forget”.
#20 They gift you things that don’t involve eating food, being around food or making food.
#21 They don’t understand the brilliant concept of snacking.
#22 They don’t understand your obsessive-compulsive checking of the fridge when you’re at home. Obviously, you’re just seeing if anything has changed in there.
#23 They only ever order salad.
#24 They incorrectly pronounce name’s of dishes, and then get annoyed when you try to helpfully correct them. Because you’re a caring, loving person.
#25 They believe that Subway/McDonalds/other fast food chains are acceptable Friday night date spots.
#26 They order steak well done.
#27 They remove cheese from their burgers.
#28 They don’t eat food that everyone should definitely eat all the time, like pizza, ice-cream, and cake.
#29 They only ask for a “sliver of cake”.
#30 They ask if you “really need another glass of wine”.
#31 They buy hot anything from a 7/11 or servo.
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Image Credit: Griffin Simm