Tred of the universe predicting your doom? Better lift you game, guys. Karma's a b*itch. Anyhoo. We’ve been in touch with the stars again to bring you your weekly predictions. Spoiler: some of them ain't pretty.
Here's what you're *really* in for this week.
Aquarius
You seem to be getting a little overwhelmed lately, Aquarius. This month has thrown a massive pile of work your way, and it’s becoming too much. Instead of letting it consume you, we suggest writing a ‘to-do’ list every day. Make it realistic and tick off the jobs as you go. It’ll keep you on track and you’ll feel a lot more organised.
Pisces
Back on the Tinder game again, we see. Gotta love your optimism, Pisces. We've got a good feeling this week – keep an eye out for someone that makes you laugh. Swipe right on hope.
Aries
Looks like the wind changed and your face stayed salty, Aries. Honestly, we’re not quite sure what’s gotten into you, but you really need to snap out of it. Your friends are sick of it and it’s beginning to drive your family wild. Go for a run and pump those endorphins, it’s time to bring a little positivity back!
Taurus
The time has come to take life by the horns, Taurus. Lift your game and get back out there. One fail doesn’t mean it’s all downhill from here. Things change. You need to learn how to adapt to this better. When you're stressed, breathe. Go for a walk and clear your head. It’s going to be alright.
Gemini
It seems as though the only thing sadder than Aries’ attitude this week is your bank account, Gem. Time to start saving! It's okay to pack your lunch for work sometimes.
Cancer
Happy wife, happy life, Cancer. Time to bite your lip and just let your girl be right. A nice bunch of flowers wouldn’t go unappreciated, either.
Leo
We’re loving your attitude, Leo. You’ve been super motivated recently and we think you’re on the road to good things. Whether it be excelling in your workplace or finding contentment in personal relationships, life's looking up. Big snaps for you.
Virgo
There’s not much on your agenda at the moment, Virgo. Lucky you! This week, just enjoy having some time to yourself. We see life getting pretty busy for you very soon.
Libra
We’re not sure if you’ve heard of this thing called sleep, Libra, but it doesn’t look like you’re getting much of it. Switch your late night insta scrolls for a good book and some warm milk with honey. You’ll feel fresher in the morning with a full eight hours.
Scorpio
Love is blind and so are you, Scorps. They’re not into you. Move on and find someone who is.
Sagittarius
This is your courtesy reminder to drink more water this week, Sag. It’ll clear the skin you’re always complaining about, and that headache Panadol won’t fix.
Capricorn
This week we want you to know that it's okay to say no, Cap. We understand that you want to do the right thing by everyone, but don’t let it get in the way of your mental wellbeing. Sometimes it's more important to do right by yourself than anyone else.
Need to drown your sorrows in some good food? Check out Sir Duke in Moonee Ponds.
Image credit: Gabrielle Stjernqvist
