41 Things Only Uni Students Understand

By Mollie Maloney.
21st Nov 2016

things only uni students understand

You poor, vulnerable soul. You’re living life in the big smoke with nothing but a notebook, a pen and a free mind. With your bank statement less than your age and aspirations of owning a washing machine when you’re older, you look to anyone (anyone?!) for a comforting shoulder to lean on.

To prove that we’re all in this #unistudentlyfe together we’ve rounded up 41 things that eeeeeeeevery uni student in Auckland knows is 100% truth. 

1. Uni before 9am is just not even fathomable. 

2. You get a little stressy if you wake up at 2pm, but like also… not really. 

3. You miss Uni, to catch up on Uni. 

4. You say ‘catch you round’ at the end of your tutorial, but you know you will never see them ever, ever again (thank god). 

5. Online lecture recordings will go down as the best thing that happened in the 21st century. 

6. You walk around Uni pretending you have a purpose and a life goal, but you actually are just looking for your lecture room, which you have never been to, even though it’s week 10. Ed Note: this is a judgement-free zone guys. 

7. Similarly, ‘what does your lecturer look like’ is a common thought that plays on your mind.

8. You just despise those people who sit on the ends of lecture theatre rows when there is CLEARLY space in the middle, move along people!  

9. If tomorrow isn’t the due date, today isn’t the do date.

10. Year 13 students in the library are So. Un. Welcome.

11. Group work, a.k.a letting you down one mark at a time.

12. Sitting in the library, opening your laptop, closing it and leaving the library is perfectly acceptable, and definitely respectable. 

13. The location of your library card is almost as questionable as your library card photo.

14. Look Inside is the best hyperlink on Google Books. Essay = done.

15. Self-control isn’t a habitual practice, it’s an app on your MacBook Pro. 

16. You are an everyday hero when you study for five minutes straight without checking your phone.

17. Copping the 2% late penalty isn’t a life choice, it’s a lifestyle.

18. APA, MLA, CMS, CIA, FBI, SMH… they are all the same thing. 

19. You get into bed at 2pm and set your alarm for a 17-minute nap because you wouldn’t want to over-sleep. 

20. You print at work because the 10c at uni is just NOT in the budget.

21. You sometimes scan broccoli as carrots at the self-service checkout (we won’t tell anyone). 

22. As much as you hate yourself for it, Homebrand is your best friend. 

23. You are so proud of yourself for only buying groceries that are on special, but get takeaway anyway because you can’t be bothered to cook.

24. You have a dedicated notes page on your phone for everyone that owes you a single cent! 

25. You haven’t done washing in so long you contemplate just buying new underwear.

26. Old people just don’t understand that smashed avocado is ALWAYS a wise investment.

27. You payWave everything…like actually everything.

28. You swear every parking warden has it out for you, so dont even think about driving into uni!  

29. That being said, you have probably singlehandedly funded the new business school with your parking fines. 

30. You can’t remember what you’ve eaten for dinner the past month, but you’re pretty sure you have eaten… we said pretty sure.

 31. Take-away is only a good idea if you can get two meals out of it. 

32. Even if you look like a 12-year-old, you might as well be 55 and having a mid-life crisis if you don’t have your Student ID on public transport. 

33. Being 10 minutes late to your lecture becuase the line at No.1 Pancake is always so damn long! 

34. You work somewhere where you can get free food… #lifehack.

35. Wine glasses are made of plastic and often don’t really look like wine glasses.

36. You just can’t stand when adults say pre-drinking or old people who think they are cool say pre-loading. It's pres or nothing, OK Mum?

37. You know that you can’t go out without pres, because the $20 cocktail just isn’t worth it

38. Except at Bedford. Now THAT is worth it. 

39. You spend lots of time on Saturday night wondering where to go on a Saturday night.

40. When you do go out, you buy $40 worth of vodka Red Bulls because it’s the only substantial way to last the night.

41. Uber is the nocturnal mum you never had #loveyou.

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Design credit: Gabrielle Stjernqvist

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