Ah…first dates. Is there anything more exciting, more exhilarating or more awkward? Why, yes, yes there is. It’s having said first date with cameras rolling and a nation watching.
Last week we fell in love with Jimmy, laughed at PJ’s snorts and felt enormous pity for Callum when he was brother-zoned.
Naturally, this week we were in front of the television in anticipation of all the lols.
Here were 49 thoughts we had while watching this week’s episode of First Dates.
- An electric belt is a very, very good idea Ebony. Trademark that shit asap.
- A NZ Kardashian family? Get on this one, TVNZ!
- Check out those guns, Shane!
- She’s a personal trainer. No wonder she noticed his biceps.
- Ebony’s older sister is here?!
- Oh thank God she’s kidding.
- Jessie-May wants all of the babies. Pro tip: keep that to yourself during the first date.
- She did not just simulate giving birth. Save us all.
- “I just love them, they’re so happy!” Jessie-May go and talk to a new mum who hasn’t slept in months. Do. It. Now.
- “They don’t run around.” Yeah, but in a couple months they’ll be rolling. And then crawling. And then walking. And then running. Like, you get that, right?
- “You can just put them in a pen.” Is this girl on drugs?
- A combo between a bad Shirley and a sour queen? A bad queen? A sour Shirley?
- “White guys hands freak me out.” We need to check DSMV.
- Damien’s girlfriend broke up with him 16 times for no reason. Who counts that?
- Jessie-May wants babies and so they set her up with a playboy. Better watch it TVNZ you could be liable for child support.
- Note Damien didn’t say a single thing about personality when describing his dream woman.
- Every woman wants a plastic rose from the $2 shop. And a hand shake.
- “My French accent works in New Zealand surprisingly to get girls in bed.” Damien, you’re an actual pig. And...you know what they say about men who feel the need to brag...
- Shane needs to update the photo of his daughter.
- There’s a lot of talk about fish in this episode. We need a new cliché.
- Jenilee: “He’s a fruit salad, which is good.” Okayyyyy.
- Jenilee and Fred are actually all the cuteness.
- Ethnicity is huge this episode.
- Ebony: “He’s an 8/10. The 2% is his hair.” Math is obvs not a strong point.
- Cats? Yes. Dogs? Yes. Bunnies? That’s new.
- Kelly: “I’m looking for a man, not a bunny.” Thank god for that.
- Jenny from the Block. Like actually.
- Why is Damien pretending to like rosé? It’s so weird.
- Damien: “Have you met my new girlfriend?” One should discuss that with said girlfriend first, dude.
- Min, you’re a man after our own hearts. Nothing is worse than someone who chews with their mouth open.
- Min has his wedding menu planned. Maybe find a woman first?
- A big bum? Just shut your mouth Damien. Seriously.
- Damien could learn a thing or two from Fred.
- Jessie-May can see right through him. Thank goodness.
- Fred, bro. Chill out!
- And…just like that the date becomes awkward af.
- A yes from Ebony and Shane! It’s a yes from us too!
- Kellie wants to eat at the top one hundred restaurants in Auckland. We’ll do a list for you.
- Jessie-May has got this? Honey you shouldn’t be paying for a brick wall.
- She says no as he nods yes. This is gold.
- “Likewise.”*cough* *cough*
- OMG Min and Kellie have both planned the food at their wedding. Are they actually the same person?
- Kellie, you need to tell him about the bunnies and stop this chat about dogs.
- Fred is paying but they’ve gone so flat. Bro, you’re hung up over nothing!
- Thank god he said he yes! Way to go!
- Yay, Kellie is FINALLY bringing up the rabbit.
- Hang on, wait. What?! Kellie eats rabbit? So confused right now.
- No, Min, you don’t sound stingy.
- And…we have another love match! Yussss.
Missed last week's episode? Here were our thoughts about First Dates episode one.