Horoscopes: Your Co(s)mic Week Ahead

By Steph Lenehan
17th Jan 2017

Welcome in, take a seat. Who are we kidding? You’re probably on a bus heading to work, just trying to kill time. Well we are: A) offended and B) delighted. We want you to have the most superb week ever in the history of weeks and we know just how to make that happen. Sidenote: this week’s horoscope has been brought to you by our office playlist on shuffle.


Listen to your heart this week, Pisces, because not only is it an amazing song by Roxette—it is also a killer life motto. Whether your heart is telling you to go for it with that person you’ve been seeing, or to just have another doughnut you need to just do it because the heart wants what it wants. (Also another good song).

Where you need to go this weekend: All the things a heart could want right here.


Just like Suzi Quatro, you too are the wild one. Everyone wants to be your friend because of your wild antics and amazing sense of humour. Next time the gang is all around, you should take them to a place just as cool as you.

Where you need to go this weekend: This place is full of cool.


Sorry buddy, this week will be the ‘Nickleback Greatest Hits’ of weeks for you. Not to stress though, everyone loves a sing-along every now and then.

Where you need to go this weekend: Take it back to the classics here.


We’ve got major Taylor Swift tunes for you—shake off those haters whilst simultaneously never ever getting back together with your ex. You go girl/guy! While everything’s coming up sunny for you, check out other amazing things in life.

Where you need to go this weekend: Here is where you can find everything T Swizzle would aprove of.


Your spirit guide this week is Tash Sultana. If that wasn’t enough to give you the highest ranking of all time, then pair it with a killer place, too.

Where you need to go this weekend: You didn't know you needed this place until now.


This week is going to be a real musical for you. We’re talking Moulin Rouge, Grease and Matilda all in one week. We aren’t sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing yet, so our fingers are crossed for you.

Where you need to go this weekend: Keep up with Auckland's gems here.


Woah, steady on Virgo! Non-stop Metallica, we can’t help but feel like you’re trying to tell us something.

Where you need to go this weekend: This place will be all you need.


Dancing on your own, hey? Well, that’s not the worst thing in the world. You could also have a really outdated haircut. Oh, you do? Soz. We can help.

Where you need to go this weekend: Sogo? Sooo gooooood hair.


Nice one, Scorps. You guys got Elvis. Not sure what amazing things you’ll accomplish this week but we can guarantee that you’ll be a downright superstar doing it.

Where you need to go this weekend: Eat here now, thank you very much.


Howdy partner, your week is jam-packed full of country music. So hopefully you get tasty dramas of lovers betrayal and a good tasting of moonshine. Or if you’re a city-slicker at heart maybe just a nice, fancy cocktail.

Where you need to go this weekend: 2017 is wrapped around your finger with this guide.


Baby, baby, baby, oh, baby, baby, baby, no. That’s right Capricorn’s. Justin Bieber is being summoned by the Astrological Gods that oversee your life. This is good news, not only will your hair look better than ever, but you will also gain the voice of a prepubescent angel.

Where you need to go this weekend: Brew with a view here.


Flume supplies your tunes of the week. Kick back and let your worries melt away. If you’re way too busy and stressed and don’t have the time to relax, try an extra caffeinated coffee. It won’t help the stress but you will be able to get things done quicker.

Where you need to go this weekend: Coffee coffee coffee. Right now. Right here.

Image credit: Gabrielle Stjernqvist

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