Funny

50 Things Every Melburnian Has Said At Some Point

By Hannah Valmadre - 25 Nov 2015

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Melbourne is the land of awesome coffee, AFL, indecisive weather, and the dreaded Myki. While we may express the occasional frustration, on the whole this city is pretty awesome - so here are 50 things that we have uttered in and around Melbourne lately... and we're assuming you have too.

Melbs, we'd go to Zone 2 for you. #Melby4Lyf

1. If I have to take a train, it’s too far.

2. It’s going to be 27 degrees today, better pack an umbrella.

3. Can we split a Madame Brussels cocktail jug between 6 of us?

4. Revs?

5. $4 pizza at Bimbos/Lucky Coq tonight! It would be rude NOT to.

6. You should have seen me fly past the tram on my fixie this morning.

7. Did you catch the game (AFL) last night?

8. Stuff a taxi, let’s get an Uber.

9. How late is the Exford bottle-O open until?

10. Meet you at the green slime building.

11. How much is a fine for swimming in the Yarra?

12. Do you serve almond milk?

13. It’s burgers. In a train. In the sky. We’re going.

14. I’d go to Zone 2 for you.

15. So I was at that warehouse party in Brunswick last night…

16. I couldn’t live in Sydney, where would I get my cold drip?

17. I just spent six months in Berlin.

18. I’m looking for a good stick and poke tattoo artist, who did yours?

19. A top knot AND a moustache? Must be from Fitzroy.

20. Let’s take your (out of town family folk) to Degraves. They’ll love it!

21. Have you been to that new fried chicken place yet? No, the other one.

22. So we wound up at K Box Karaoke. Again.

23. Where did all these f***ing possums come from?

24. I miss St Jerome’s.

25. That Daft Punk gig in 2007 was ALL TIME.

26. I’m so glad I moved here from Perth.

27. If that wagyu beef pattie isn’t in a brioche milk bun, I’m not interested.

28. No I’m not going, it’s on the wrong side of the river. (Regardless of whether you're from the southside or northside)

29. Are you going to the food truck festival? No, the other one.

29. So wait, Pony is called Boney now?!

30. I picked up an absolute bargain at Savers yesterday.

31. At this rate I’ll be renting in a share house for the rest of my life.

32. What are you doing for Grand Final day?

33. So wait, Pony IS called Boney now?!

34. The line for Dejour Jeans was hideous.

35. I think this will be the last year I go to Laneway.

36. Not everything in my wardrobe is black. I’ve got a grey jumper or two.

37. My friend’s band is playing a gig for Melbourne Music Week.

38. You going to Meredith?

39. (Getting off a tram) *cough* ticket inspectors *cough*.

40. Eddy Garden’s was PACKED on the weekend.

41. I’m broke, let’s do Lentil as Anything for dinner.

42. Is it vegan?

43. Where did all the goths on the Flinders Street steps go?

44. Hook turns are only scary the first time.

45. Where’s the nearest rooftop bar?

46. (At Shanghai Dumplings): Tell them it’s your birthday…

47.  Is that (insert random footy player here)?! Probably.

48. My friend’s starting up a social enterprise pop-up cafe. It’s gonna be great.

49. Three steamed dimmies with soy sauce thanks. And a potato cake.

50. YOU DON'T HAVE TO TOUCH OFF!

Want more funny reads about Melbourne? Here are 38 Things That Are So Melbourne It Hurts!

Photo credit: Lonely Planet

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