Welcome, night owl. Since you clicked on this article, it’s likely that it’s either a) 1am and you’re wide awake or b) you got no sleep last night and need something to distract you from work/uni, or c) it’s bedtime soon and you’re preparing yourself for a night of productivity/random thoughts/TV binging/surfing the interwebs/minimal sleep. You’re someone who thrives once the sun goes down and y’know what? That’s a-OK.
Just because you’re better at smashing out essays or work at midnight than midday doesn’t make you a bad person. Just because you get a surge of energy and motivation at 10pm doesn’t mean you suck at life. You’re a night owl and proud. There are, however, a few niggly things that come with being a person of the night. To remind you that you’re not alone at three o’clock in the morning, here are 21 struggles of being a night owl.
- Weekday mornings are a nightmare. A NIGHTMARE. Whoever invented 9-to-5 clearly sleeps like a god damn babe (the infant kind, not the good looking kind).
- You spend at least 20 minutes every night hitting up Google for ‘how do I sleep’ even though you’ve read and tried it all a hundred times before. And yes, you’ve tried the ‘turn off all devices’ option and nope, no luck.
- You’re torn between the fact that you’re oddly productive at night and the knowledge that you need to sort your body clock out for, y’know, your health.
- You have memorised this list and this list and this list. And you late-night snack on the reg (read: every night).
- Getting cosy in bed at 10pm doesn’t mean you’re falling asleep at 10pm. It means more time tossing and turning in frustration. Gosh.
- Alarms. Ugh. The mere mention of these foul devices is enough to make you hibernate for weeks on end.
- You’re a professional Netflix binger/Instagram scroller/Facebook stalker.
- Literally the only time you’ve fallen asleep early is because of jet lag and general exhaustion after a 12+ hour flight.
- The thought that people wake up and go to the gym before work (and without coffee) makes your blood boil. HOW? And more importantly, WHY?!
- Your late-night texts accidentally come across as booty calls.
- You’re all too accustomed to receiving stupid sleeping advice and pretending like you’re grateful for it. Like the oh-so useful and life-changing ‘just try going to bed earlier’ nugget. Why thank you, I’ve never tried that before. Ever.
- Coffee is quite literally your saviour. While you can’t function properly until the arvo, caffeine is the thing that helps you be somewhat productive during the day.
- When 3pm rolls around and everyone hits a wall, you’re pinging off a sudden surge of energy. Your day has basically just begun and life’s possibilities are endless.
- Whenever you have to wake up early, people feel like they have to give you a pep talk and check-in to make sure your body can handle it. “I’ll be there to force feed you coffee” and “are you sure you’ll be able to do it?” The concern is real, too.
- Finding something funny on Facebook, tagging your homies and then sadly realising that it’s 3am and you won’t be getting a reply anytime soon. So you just sit in the dark alone.
- You’re constantly debating whether it’s weird to send your boss/lecturer/colleague emails at 1am, but you’re your most productive at this time, so stuff it.
- No one tiptoes around the house and eats snacks quieter than you do. It’s a skill.
- If someone suggests a walk and breakfast BEFORE 11am on a weekend morning, you genuinely have to consider how much you value their friendship.
- Your mind equally freaks you out and amazes you. You come up with the best ideas at night, but also the weirdest, creepiest shit.
- Having a non-night owl partner is a serious struggle. While they’re snoozing next to you, you’re just lying there alone with your thoughts.
- You don’t understand people who fall asleep as soon as their head hits the pillow. You’d love to have that secret power, but would miss all the late-night fun that comes with being a night owl.