Last Friday night, after the nine longest year of our lives, Netflix released ‘Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life’ and Gen Y collectively huddled on their Ikea modular sofas, sipping Diet Coke and shedding tears for every second Melissa McCarthy wasn’t on our screens.
Here’s what went through my mind during episode 1:
1. Aaaaaaah one minute to go.
2. (Better pop to the loo).
3. Thank God my Crust order arrived in time.
4. I’VE DONE MY WAITING, 9 YEARS OF IT.
5. These voice-overs would’ve triggered more nostalgia if I hadn’t watched the entire series last month.
6. That opening scene was superbly choreographed.
7. LOVING Rory’s thirty-something hair.
8. Also glad her voice has finally broken.
9. 20 bucks says Ms Patty is the face of Jenny Craig by midday tomorrow.
10. Stars Hollow looks fking beautiful.
11. Shaynna Blaze would give it a four though because that rubbish bin is definitely from Kmart.
12. People joking about getting promotions is not ok.
13. Kirk is… sort of hot now?
14. But still a button short of a cardigan.
15. Yeah, have another coffee gals, those last four minutes were heckers.
16. Ohmagawd it’s the town troubadour, I wonder how much they paid him to come back.
17. Lauren Graham probably just gave him 50 bucks and high five.
18. I’d come back for less.
19. I hope the person that put up all those Christmas decorations got a tidy mill though.
20. Paul Anka must be 6000 in dog years.
21. Rory was way too obsessed with tertiary institutes as a child.
22. Rory is the reason uni was so underwhelming for me.
23. She has a new bf!! #TeamPaul
24. Stop flicking through the TV guide, Luke, I want need to see Melissa McCarthy.
25. Lorelai shops at Peter Alexander now.
26. Rory’s lack of career direction is extremely comforting.
27. Aaaaaaaay, Michel has a hussssbaaaand.
29. This 6-minute exchange between Michel and Lorelai is just a really roundabout way of saying the producers spent way too much money on Christmas decorations instead of budgeting for Melissa McCarthy.
30. Amy SP pulled this Ooober scene right out of Wolf Creek.
31. Emily doesn’t look a day over 35.
32. Richard’s portrait cost more than my education.
33. Was Richard not allowed to have female friends?
34. Wait. Did Lorelai lose her virginity when she was 9??
35. Emily may be a lady in mourning, but she is still a red-hot savage at the dinner table.
36. I thought April died in season 7.
37. Have Luke and Lorelai seriously spent ten years together without talking about kids?
38. How did they get all the way to the clinic without even discussing the concept of surrogacy??
40. Aw Paris got her dream job, you go galfran!
41. Paris yass Paris SLAAAY.
42. Can someone please explain surrogacy to Luke.
43. River Song is here to save Rory!
44. Stick her in the Pandorica for 6 billion years, River!
45. Paul would probably wait for her. #cutforPaul
46. Logan whaaaat?!
47. What about Paul?? He gave Luke a wrench!
48. Cheater, cheater, compulsive reader.
49. Taylor and Luke, name a more iconic duo.
50. Wait; Steve and Quan.
51. Zach doesn’t look a day younger than 64.
52. What kind of fake name is Dede?
53. What is that company Rory keeps saying?
54. Hep Alien are the original Stiff Dylans.
55. Is Emily wearing a t-shirt??
56. Seriously, Emily’s bone density is through the floor, someone get this woman a glass of milk.
57. Rory gotta get herself a man with some #bodyshippingcash.
59. Thank God, Emily’s put a blouse on.
60. Lorelai is so happy that Emily’s happy.
61. But Emily’s not happy, she’s just faking so Lorelai will come to therapy and hear all the ways she’s been a shit daughter.
62. Classic mum move.
63. What is this song? I don’t recognise it.
Image Credit: Netflix