Horoscopes: Your Co(s)mic Week Ahead

By Nathan Santamaria
20th Sep 2016


Over here at The Urban List, we want our readers to know what's in store for them for the week ahead. So we're bringing you horoscopes for real people - who want their cosmic predictions with a side of honesty. Here are your horror-scopes, including suggestions for where to drown those mystical sorrows when you find out what you're *really* in for this week.


Treat yourself Pisces, you deserve it. The week ahead might be a bit hectic but don’t worry; the weekend is looking pretty mellow. Friday night put your feet up maybe do some cooking. Saturday and Sunday are days for chilling out, putting your feet up and maybe some trashy TV.

Where you need to go this week: Time to catch up on your reality TV. If you’re a fan of The Bachelor take a look at our round-up of the finale.


Your week will be off to a running start Aires! Monday is full steam ahead and Tuesday doesn’t look to be slowing down either. The end of the week will be a bit all over the place but by the Saturday things will be returning to their normal pace, except perhaps your love life. If you’re heading out this weekend you should, well, be open to developments!

Where you need to go this week: Try Upside Rooftop Bar for this weekend’s drinks.


You have a great group of friends around you Taurus and this week is all about them. Take a load off and make some time to hang out with them. Find some time in the week for after work drinks, poker night or go out for dinner. Things can get a bit hectic at work so it’s good to have some hearty conversations with your pals!

Where you need to go this week: Nothing brings friends together like a good cheeseburger. Check out our Comprehensive List of Melbourne’s Best Cheeseburgers for a good feed this weekend.


You’re full work-mode this week Gemini, especially in the beginning of the week. This mindset will carry on into the weekend and you might find your interactions with other people a bit more difficult than usual. You might feel like you only want to see those one or two really close friends this weekend (or maybe just some me-time).

Where you need to go this week: Stay home with friends (or by yourself) and order in these delectable desserts while still in your pajamas.


Your week is going to feel all over the place so if you have anything urgent to do this week then you should get a jump on it early on Monday. If somehow you manage to find some free time during the week you should do something rejuvenating (can anyone say spa day?). Once the week fizzles out there will be plenty of time to catch up with friends.

Where you need to go this week: Time for some R&R, check out this list of The Best Places In Victoria To Have A Spa Day.


You’re perfectly poised to pounce on any tricky situations this week Leo! (heh lion puns). Your instincts and listening skills are on point so trust your gut on any big decisions. There could be a lot of attention coming your way this weekend for something you might not have thought was that big of a deal. Lap it up!

Where you need to go this week: Looking for a new summery drink? Check out this new trend of Frosés.


Don’t go jumping to any conclusions this week Virgo; you might not have all the info. Your work relations could be a bit strained and by the end of the week you may be stressed and frustrated. That just means that Saturday night will be the highlight of your week! Cocktails are a great remedy for work stress so head out with some friends this weekend!

Where you need to go this week: Need some Summer-y spots to drink? Then check out this list of Summer Drinking Spots.


Keep your eyes open Virgo, even if you’re juggling a million and one things this week. Pay your friends some compliments and just enjoy the little things. Mid week you might find someone all over you, it might not even be a romantic thing; you’re just a joy to be around! Take that energy into the weekend and you’ll have a blast!

Where you need to go this week: Check out this super easy Detox Treatment to get yourself feeling great.


Monday and Tuesday are dreamy and frankly awesome Scorpio. Enjoy it while it lasts because you could be in for a reality check mid-week. Don’t worry though because those hump-day blues won't last and you’ll pick back up going into the weekend. Keep an eye on any romantic prospects too – they could about to blossom!

Where you need to go this week: There’s nothing like a caffeinated cocktail to get you revved up for the week. Make sure to chuck this Espresso Martini Festival in the calendar.


Feeling a bit nostalgic this week Sagittarius? Not surprising but try not to get lost in it. Turn your focus to the not so distant future to plan your week ahead and nothing can get in your way. Your weekend could be full of a lot of talk and very little action as any plans might fall apart. Oh well, if it does fall apart don’t be afraid to fly solo!

Where you need to go this week: If you need something do to this weekend then check out these 20 Must-Sees at the Fringe Festival.


Have something that’s been troubling you for a while? Try coming at it from a different angle Capricorn. This week keeping yourself motivated might be a bit tough but if you can get over that mid-week hump you’re in for a great weekend. Try keeping active on Saturday: go for a hike, a walk through town or take a day trip. Then spend your Sunday with your feet up!

Where you need to go this week: Planning your next getaway? Give this a read and you might be tempted to head to Port Fairy


You feel a bit impatient this week Aquarius. Some people are just going to frustrate you this week and it's not that you don’t appreciate their opinion, but you have sh*t to do! I know it’s hard but try and stay mellowed, your week should calm down as we approach the weekend.

Where you need to go this week: Nourish Bowls are the salads you’ve been missing in your life. Check out our list of the best ones to get you through the week.

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