Melbourne’s 50 Best Fat Feeds

By Pip Jarvis
26th Sep 2014

While #cleaneating is all well and good, some of us don't mind a little extra junk in our trunk if it means we can dunk them doughnuts, swim in that salted caramel, and gobble that epic wiener at any of our favourite Melbourne restaurants. Today, dear Listers, we're abandoning the lettuce leaf in search of Melbourne's most decadent and most un-diet-y culinary delights. Without further ado, we present you the 50 Best Fat Feeds in Melbourne.

  1. The Napier in Fitzoy – Bogan Burger: steak, chicken schnitzel, caramelised onions, cheese, pineapple, beetroot, egg, potato cake, bacon, lettuce, tomato, with wedges & salad
  2. The B.East in Brunswick East – B.East Burger: triple-beef pattie and triple bacon, smothered in chilli-cheese sauce, lettuce, pickled red onion, and tomato
  3. Massive Wieners in Prahran – 12-inch Massive Wiener: pork and beef wiener on white roll topped with onions, ketchup, cheddar cheese, and American mustard  
  4. The Beer & Burger Bar in Richmond – Parma Burger: crumbed chicken breast, bacon, Napoli sauce, cheese, lettuce, tomato & aioli on a white roll
  5. Seven Seeds in Carlton – The Elvis French Toast: French toast stuffed with banana caramel, whipped peanut butter, and house-cured bacon
  6. Mr Burger in Prahran (& various) – Trucker Chips: fries with bacon, cheese, and special sauce
  7. Miss Katie's Crab Shack in Fitzroy – Katie's Fried Chicken: with ranch dressing, Belgian waffles, and Canadian maple syrup
  8. Boston Sub in Windsor – Jabba The Hut: freedom fries, gravy, confit lamb, braised beef, pulled pork, cheese curds, and bacon
  9. Las Chicas in Balaclava – BBB (Bikini Blowout Benedict): crushed avocado, bacon, two poached eggs, and hollandaise on a toasted bagel
  10. South Melbourne Market – Dim Sims
  11. 8bit in Footscray – Loaded Potato Gems: topped with chilli beef, cheese sauce, bacon, pickle relish, grilled onions, and jalapeños
  12. Misty's Diner in Prahran – Naughty but Delicious: 9 assorted candy bars, vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, and a Twizzler stick
  13. Cobb Lane in Yarraville – Salted caramel milkshake (or salted caramel doughnut!)
  14. Candied Bakery in Spotswood – PB&J Doughnut
  15. Po' Boy Quarter in Fitzroy – Cheesy mac croquettes
  16. Humdinger in Frankston – Deep-fried pickles with Parmesan aioli
  17. Trunk Diner in Melbourne CBD – The Lumberjack: double stack buttermilk pancakes with crispy bacon and maple butter
  18. Big Boy BBQ (various locations) – Big Boy Meat Platter: saucy beef brisket, beef pastrami, pulled pork, scotch fillet, pulled lamb shoulder, 1/2 rack of Kansas City pork ribs, 1?2 rack of lamb ribs, regular wings, & three jumbo sides
  19. Shortstop Coffee & Donuts in Melbourne CBD – Bourbon crème brulee doughnut
  20. Hannah in St Kilda – Brioche French toast chocolate ganache sandwich with orange and vanilla parfait, pistachio croquant
  21. Sookie La La in Northcote – Mac'n'cheese, with cider-glazed Kaiserfleisch
  22. Adriano Zumbo Pattisier in South Yarra – Zonuts! (This week's is kit kat – nom!)
  23. Rockwell and Sons in Collingwood – Fried chicken sandwich, with buttermilk dressing, iceberg, and crystal hot sauce
  24. Smokey's All American BBQ in Port Melbourne – BBQ Pork Ribs with housemade BBQ sauce
  25. Carte Crepes in Parkville (at Melbourne Uni) – Snickers crepe: melted milk chocolate, salted caramel, and peanut butter
  26. Duchess of Spotswood in Spotswood – Duchess of Pork: Crispy pig's jowl with fried eggs, rich truffle sauce, and sourdough toast
  27. Burch & Purchese in South Yarra – Lamington Eclair: chocolate choux pastry, soaked sponge finger, raspberry jam, milk chocolate cream, raspberry jelly, coconut raspberry marshmallow, and chocolate sprayed 'Bounty' mix
  28. Dos Diablos Food Truck (various locations) – Torta Cubano:  toasted roll with chipotle mayo, filled with pulled pork, grilled cheese, salsa verde, and jalapenos
  29. Gelato Messina in Fitzroy – 'Elvis the Fat Years' gelato: peanut butter gelato with fried brioche, and banana jam
  30. Tuck Shop Take Away in Caulfield – Caramel and salted popcorn soft serve
  31. Little Big Sugar Salt in Abbotsford – Dr Ron Swanson: triple decker croque monsieur with gruyere, béchamel, slow-roasted pork hock, and egg
  32. Old Kingdom in Fitzroy & Surrey Hills – Peking duck
  33. Kum Den in Melbourne CBD – Deep-fried ice cream
  34. Danny's Burgers in Fitzroy North – Triple patty burger with the lot (diced onion, lettuce, egg, bacon, tomato, and sauce)
  35. Pacific Seafood BBQ House in Melbourne CBD – Crispy skin roast pork belly with special fried rice
  36. Mrs Parma's in Melbourne CBD – Chipotle beans parma: parma with chipotle-flavoured beans, crispy bacon, and fried egg
  37. Lambs (various locations) – Lamb souva with extra sauce
  38. Kodiak Club in Fitzroy – The Kodiak's famous Buffalo wings: crispy fried chicken wings tossed in American hot sauce, with celery sticks, and blue cheese sauce
  39. Amigos (various locations) – Shredded Beef Nachos: corn chips topped with melted cheese, guacamole, sour cream, salsa, and shredded beef
  40. The Merrywell in Southbank – Jalapeno poppers: beer-battered jalapenos, stuffed with cream cheese, served with ranch dipping sauce
  41. The Penny Black in Brunswick – Mish-Mash-Mellow Pizza: dessert pizza with marshmallows, mascarpone, hundreds and thousands
  42. Big Huey's Diner in South Melbourne – Banana Split: with caramelised bananas, Hokey Pokey ice cream, an orange and palm sugar caramel, and meringue whipped cream  
  43. Shawcross Pizza in Fitzroy – Sticky Icky Icky: Nutella calzone with glazed cherries, double cream, and icing sugar
  44. Meat Me in Oakleigh – Mixed grill for 2: lamb gyros, chicken gyros, chicken skewers x 2, pork skewers x2, loukaniko (sausages) x 2, tzatziki, chips, and pita bread
  45. Lolo & Wren in Brunswick West – Crispy croque monsieur: two large portions of crumbed white bread with swiss cheese, chive cream, and salted leg ham
  46. Bowery to Williamsburg in Melbourne CBD – Fried Challah with whipped peanut butter, roasted pear, and candied popcorn
  47. Chew Burgers in Preston – Plenty Burger: 2 x 190g Wagyu patty, smokey bacon, pepper cheddar, cos lettuce, tomato, mustard, onions, and zucchini pickles
  48. Meatmother in Richmond – Ol' Dirty Dog: Brooklyn Beer Brat, BBQ beans, aged cheddar, hot sauce, and sour cream on a brioche bun
  49. Acland St Cantina in St Kilda – Bacon-wrapped hot dog with chipotle aioli
  50. The Brûlée Cart (out & about) – Crème Brûlée in various amazing flavours (think rocky road, or maple bacon)

    Editor's Note: Want more? Check out 50 MORE fat feeds!

    Image Credit: Half Baked Harvest

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