Overheard In Melbourne This Week

By Ellen Seah
20th Apr 2016

overheard in melbourne

It's time once again for overheard—bringing you all the ridiculous conversations we've sneakily jotted down whilst you were talking unawares. Just like the creepy guy who stares at you every morning on the train. 

From the complicated issues of economics and religion to definitely-professional-not-really advice on how to get in shape, here's the best of the best of Melbourne from Melbourne, by Melbourne. 

On the delicate issue of religion 

Girl 1: What the hell is a Buddha bowl?  
Girl 2: I don't know. I'm not religious. 

Because everyone has gym-related trust issues 

Girl 1: I heard that walking actually burns more calories than running.
Girl 2: So if I sell my car and cut my myki will I have Miranda Kerr’s body by summer?
Girl 1: You’ll be at St Kilda by summer, sure. 

On the fallibility of veganism 

Girl 1: I'm a strict vegan, except when I eat Schnitz. 

Argumentative tips

Guy 1: How long do you actually spend looking up useless pieces of trivia?
Girl 1: Nothing is useless if it wins arguments. 

Real-life Monopoly 

Girl 1: I thought Australia had no money, but if we have new $5 notes can’t they just print heaps of them and hand them out as a bonus?
Girl 2: Holy crap, this isn’t Monopoly. 

Because it ain't that hard being a #jernalist

Girl 1: I'm going to start a column. Carrie Bradshaw was pretty crap, it can't be that hard.
Girl 2: You would totally be better than Carrie Bradshaw.

Want more Melbourne LOLs? Check out the 45 Things A Foodie Thinks At The Gym. You know it's true.

Photo credit: Gossip Girl

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