This week's been all about kale, showing your mates one boob (?!) and making some questionable St. Patrick's Day plans. Read on for the most lol-worthy things we've overheard this week in Melbourne.
Girl A: How amazing is this, it's a KALE slaw mix!
Girl B: I am so into different varieties of kale right now, it's amazing.
Girl A: ...Urgh, that's the most Melbourne thing you've ever said.
Girl A: I don’t know why everyone has so many hang-ups about being naked.
Girl B: Boarding schools, that's why.
Girl A: Everyone was fiiiiine with nudity at my school. This one time, we decided to show each other a boob to see if they were all the same.
Girl B: ...
Girl A: Look, it was just a fun girlie evening showing each other one boob, okay?!
On body diversity Barbie
Girl A: I think these body diverse Barbie dolls are fantastic. Such as step forward!
Girl B: Yeah, but they all still look pretty well put-together. Where's Netflix and a tub of Ben & Jerry's Barbie?
Girl C: Or dad bod Ken?
Bear Grylls, Man Of Adventure
Person A: Are you telling me that Bear Grylls isn’t true?!
Person B: Bear Grylls doesn't actually do all that stuff.
Person A: Yes he does! He’s real, I saw him sleep inside that animal carcas!
Butter Is The Greatest
Guy A: We need butter.
Girl B: Yeah, but is it *softened* butter?
VAMFF Gift Bags
Girl A: OHMYGOD are there any make-up brushes?
Girl B: Shotgun everything with glitter in it!
Girl C: I will fight you to the death for that free contour kit.
St Patrick's Day Preparations
Person A: What are you doing for St. Pat's day?
Person B: ...Probably having a Guinness on the way to work?
Person A: What the hell are we going to do with all these hot cross buns?!
Person B: OOooh, I'll make them into a bread and butter pudding for St Pat's day!
Person A: Your people really are good at making the most of things.
Person B: Well, we *did* survive the potato famine...
The Australian Music Prize
Person A: Did you see Courtney Barnett just won thirty grand?
Person B: Yeah, maybe she can afford to shut up for a bit now.
Person A: ...Or invest in some songwriting lessons.
Image credit: Girls / HBO