Funny

Overheard In Melbourne This Week

By Clare Acheson - 16 Mar 2016

quotes overheard in melbourne

This week's been all about kale, showing your mates one boob (?!) and making some questionable St. Patrick's Day plans. Read on for the most lol-worthy things we've overheard this week in Melbourne. 

On Kale...

Girl A: How amazing is this, it's a KALE slaw mix!
Girl B: I am so into different varieties of kale right now, it's amazing. 
Girl A: ...Urgh, that's the most Melbourne thing you've ever said. 

On Nudity...

Girl A: I don’t know why everyone has so many hang-ups about being naked. 
Girl B: Boarding schools, that's why.
Girl A: Everyone was fiiiiine with nudity at my school. This one time, we decided to show each other a boob to see if they were all the same.
Girl B: ...
Girl A: Look, i
t was just a fun girlie evening showing each other one boob, okay?! 

On body diversity Barbie

Girl A: I think these body diverse Barbie dolls are fantastic. Such as step forward!
Girl B: Yeah, but they all still look pretty well put-together. Where's Netflix and a tub of Ben & Jerry's Barbie? 
Girl C: Or dad bod Ken?

Bear Grylls, Man Of Adventure

Person A: Are you telling me that Bear Grylls isn’t true?!
Person B: Bear Grylls doesn't actually do all that stuff.
Person A: 
Yes he does! He’s real, I saw him sleep inside that animal carcas! 

Butter Is The Greatest

Guy A: We need butter.
Girl B: 
Yeah, but is it *softened* butter?

VAMFF Gift Bags

Girl A: OHMYGOD are there any make-up brushes?
Girl B: Shotgun everything with glitter in it!
Girl C: I will fight you to the death for that free contour kit. 

St Patrick's Day Preparations

Person A: What are you doing for St. Pat's day?
Person B: ...Probably having a Guinness on the way to work?

Person A: What the hell are we going to do with all these hot cross buns?!
Person B: OOooh, I'll make them into a bread and butter pudding for St Pat's day! 
Person A: Your people really are good at making the most of things.
Person B: Well, we *did* survive the potato famine...

The Australian Music Prize

Person A: Did you see Courtney Barnett just won thirty grand?
Person B: Yeah, maybe she can afford to shut up for a bit now.
Person A: ...Or invest in some songwriting lessons. 

Image credit: Girls / HBO

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