This is a soup-er realistic personality guide, promise. Whether you believe soup is a ‘real meal’ or not, it’s a winter staple. But which soup speaks to your soul?
The soup you slurp reveals far more about your personality than you could imagine. Yes, Brad, we all know you love a bit of The Living Room on a Friday night with the missus over a coupl’a cold ones with the boys. The dollop of sour cream and parsley on top of your chunky beef stew was a dead giveaway mate, and there’s no shame in that. We’re right there with you.
You’re either almost always on your deathbed or super into soul-searching. Those are the only reasons for chicken noodle to claim the top spot for your taste buds.
Sorry pal, it’s time to upgrade from that packet cup-a-soup to something a little more adventurous. A sachet soup has its place, of course, but that place is not in your favourite meals. Your colleagues probs think you still live at home and prefer for all your meals to be served with the individual ingredients not touching, please. We bet you put tomato sauce on everything, too.
Dependable, inoffensive and an all-round good guy, you’ve never missed a work deadline in your life and will always be the designated driver without complaint, even if you only find that out about that role when you get to the bar. You arranged the present for Hillary’s baby shower but nobody noticed you weren’t at the shower until they received your letter of apology in the mail the next day.
Rest assured though, if you ever left your job, the place would fall to pieces. Undervalued till you’re gone. We see you.
You’re very white. Particularly if you pronounce it ‘faux’. Absolutely if you call it ‘Vietnamese beef noodle soup’. We’ll give you some credit though—we see potential for a bit of an adventurous side. Maybe you spice things up with the sliced tendon and tripe here and there or literally spice things up with copious amounts of chilli. There’s also a strong chance you’re a control freak, whether that be from the level of basil and lemon hitting the bowl to exactly when you expected those reports (that aren’t due for another two days) on your desk (seven minutes ago, Karen.)
Hmm, this one depends on whether you take your pumpkin soup straight up...or with chilli and curry powder. If you’re the creamy butternut variety, you’re a child at heart. You long for the days when you can quit your job and build pillow forts professionally. If you take your soup with curry powder and chilli, you’re a rebel badass who’s one leather jacket away from joining a biker gang.
You tried this once when you took a trip to France where you really found yourself, you know, and you haven’t stopped talking about it since. Let’s be honest, it’s been 6 years—you barely remember what it even tasted like by now, but you'll never eat it again because it won't be authentic. On weekends you can be found performing your spoken word poetry in a pair of glasses you don’t need, in a turtle neck sweater you don’t pull off. Black, of course, just like the coffee you drink, even though we can all see you grimacing with each sip.
I’m sorry, but this is no one’s favourite soup. Quit lying to the ones who love you, and quit lying to yourself. That’s all.