40 Thoughts We All Had While Watching First Dates New Zealand

By Olivia Atkinson
5th Dec 2016

40 Thoughts We All Had While Watching First Dates New Zealand

Another week, another week of gripping, often cringe-worthy First Dates New Zealand drama. As usual, our eyes were glued to the screen as we watched the awkward moments, below-par banter and general date train wreckage unfold. Here’s what we (and most likely you) were thinking while watching First Dates New Zealand this week.

  1. Buckle in, love birds!
  2. Still not convinced that they’re matched on their likes and dislikes. The success rate ain’t something to rave about.
  3. Go-cart racer Tom. He sounds like fun!
  4. Emily: “I can pull foals out of horse’s vaginas.” Ohhh, wonderful…
  5. Straight Jager bombs?! Are we in da club?
  6. You did belly dancing when you were nine-years-old? I’m pretty sure I didn’t know how to walk then.
  7. Arna on eyes: “Blue, brown, doesn’t matter.” So he just has to have…eyes?
  9. Jaime: “People say I’m a mushroom, because I’m fun-guy.” Errrrm.
  10. “She’s hot as f*ck”. You all right there, Tom? Keep it in your pants please.
  11. “I like Toblerones, do you like Toblerones?” Riveting subject matter, Jaime.
  12. OMG, this is an actual in-depth chat about Toblerones.
  13. For the love of all that is good in the world, stop with the dad jokes, Jaime.
  14. Tracy and Seb have great chat—hurrah!
  15. “Have a shower and show me that you showered.” Um, that’s none of your business, Emily.
  16. “I will not touch anyone unless I know that they have been in the shower and I’ll have to observe it.” Who has time to watch people shower?! Also, who even watches people shower?! So. Many. Questions.
  17. “Well, I’m definitely a full clean freak. Semi OCD” Of course you are, Tom. Anything to impress this lovely lady.
  18. “You’re Chinese, so you must like yum cha.” Sebastian! Not cool, dude, not cool.
  19. A Portuguese Ninja? Can’t say we’ve come across one of those before.
  20. “The physicalities of my dream guy are a hairy chest and spectacles.” We’re thinking a cross between Hugh Jackman and Harry Potter.
  21. Ricci: “My eggs are getting dusty.” Oh no, not the eggs!
  22. Karl: “I miss that feeling of waking up next to someone and thinking ‘I’m so lucky’”. Sheesh, Karl, you’re melting our hearts here!
  23. “I was brought up with the drink from nine-years-old. And my parents are also nudists and they love partying.” Ah ha.
  24. Jamie and Arna should probably just go have babies right now.
  25. No booze in 20 years?! That’s some impressive shit.
  26. Karl on the Middle East and Thailand: we just want to give him a cuddle!
  27. Saving the elephants?!?! I LOVE YOU.
  29. And he bakes cakes and biscuits. Just marry him already, Ricci (or we will).
  30. “I would definitely go on a second date with her, should she allow.” Nawh.
  31. We have a success! Emily and Tom Hit. It. Off.
  32. Tracy, is a pole dancer?! That’s badass.
  33. WHY AREN’T YOU INTO IT, SEB? Don’t be so precious.
  34. Jamie on Arna’s bag getting caught: “Was it hooked because you’re a catch?” Hahaha. Good one.
  35. Waa-hoo! We have another second date. 
  36. Seb showed absolutely no hesitation to split the bill.
  37. And then he friend-zoned Tracey!
  38. “I’ll definitely hit you up on Facebook some time.” No you won’t.
  39. Karl only gets coffee? Sad face.
  40. Can we please get some more happily ever afters? Please.

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Image credit: TVNZ

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