Funny

10 Ways to Keep Your July Dry

By Sophie Colvin - 02 Jul 2015

So you’ve gone and done a silly, silly thing and signed up to Dry July. Your Mum will be thrilled, but you can expect the supportive encouragement to stop there, my friend. Let’s be honest, it’s not going to be as fun as drinking all the dranks. But think of all the cashola that’ll be lining your pockets (and the funds you’ll be raising for cancer sufferers).

If you and Sunday Mornings haven’t met in a while, here are 10 ways to ease the pain of sobriety.   

  1. Sign up for Run Melbourne. If you’re only thinking about this now, prep time is probably less than ideal, but #YOLO. When is your liver going to be in such great shape again?
  2. Visit the fam-bam. The dull thud of one’s head can make Sunday family visits hell, pure hell. So much chirpiness, so many questions. Now is the time to get visiting. Nanna will be tickled pink, and you can stockpile those brownie points.
  3. When you’re forgoing pinot, you’re allowed to eat whatever hell you want. It’s the goddamn rules. Do the rounds of Melbourne’s Best Fat Feeds. You deserve it.
  4. Head along to comedy speed dating. Ordinarily I’d rather scratch my eyes out than speed date, but seeing as July has already been shot to pieces…. What gives? You’ll be showing off the freshest, shiniest version of yourself. It could be worth all the LOLS.
  5. Learn to play the uke. You should need no convincing that this is a rad idea. Make sure you practice near somebody with a hangover.
  6. Chances are your caffeine intake is going to skyrocket, so why not make the most of it? Who doesn’t want fancy-pants latte art? There’s a course for that.
  7. Ice Skating. Ok, so it’s super corny but this one requires practice.  And patience and coordination. All of which we don’t usually have on a Sunday. Better yet, head along on a Saturday night when there’s a DJ. Now there’s some good clean fun.
  8. Take a weekend away. We suggest somewhere bar-less, to minimise FOMO. You’ll feel rejuvenated, and productive and it’s better than sitting at home or going out and ordering H2O on the rocks.
  9. Get all cultured and visit the NGV. There’s a heap of visit-worth exhibitions on in July and you’ll feel smug, and interesting and arty and smug.
  10. Call your friends early on Sundays. If you’ve still got any friends that is. 

Image credit: Raining Paint

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