45 Thoughts We Had During Last Night’s Episode Of Married At First Sight

By Ben Tyers
1st Mar 2018


Now that the Dean and Tracey drama has finally died down, we’re all starting to notice what an absolute piece of human garbage Nasser is. It is coming as no shock to anyone that he has lived by himself for his 50 years, and it looks like that’s not changing anytime soon.

So, strap yourself in as we delve into another dinner party where feelings are spilt, misogyny takes place, and the brawl we were waiting to happen, doesn’t.

  1. Sarah doing her best to stay young by ordering the ‘Millennial special’ with the duo of smashed avos
  2. How much earlier does Sarah have to wake up to get made up before she gets back into bed?
  3. Ashley’s sister is the only sensible person on this show
  4. #TeamTroy is an extremely depressing team to be on
  5. Sarah’s friends are delivering producer-fed lines with the sincerity of a Tony Abbott speech
  6. Sarah & Telv are everything, can someone get them a spin off? Kthanxbai
  7. Harry has been on First Dates for sure
  8. Nasser wants to be in a ‘comfortable place’ like a perfectly kept bubble where no germs (or wives) can enter
  9. Nasser must be looking for a role as ambassador for Godfrey’s after this
  10. Interesting that Nasser ‘really wanted to meet’ Gabrielle's friends….but didn’t?
  11. ‘This is your home” says Nasser, as Gabrielle looks as though she’d rather have her mail addressed to a cardboard box under the Harbour Bridge
  12. The Hot Springs is nice but I’m more shocked that they actually got a booking
  13. John & Melissa have mastered the old person kiss
  14. Shocking that Carly isn’t sure about her relationship with Justin given he’s been away fixing ice cream machines for 7 weeks
  15. I wonder how many ice cream machines Justin actually owns?
  16. “Drainer” is actually the perfect description of Justin
  17. Love that the experts keep referring to the show as a ‘social experiment’ rather than just ‘trash TV’
  18. I’d be interested to know what the bad place in a relationship looks like for Tracey
  19. Ash looks as though she dies a little every time Troy kisses her
  20. Nasser’s definitely wearing makeup
  21. Carly & Justin always look like they’re having the best of times
  22. Sarah would’ve been better off dipping herself in a vat of fake tan rather than applying while wearing tonight’s dress
  23. At this point I’m expecting Dean & Tracey to enter while the Death March plays over the top of it
  24. Telv wins best dressed
  25. Dean calling John ‘Captain’ is exactly the kind of behaviour I’d expect from a bloke who is also known as Visionz
  26. I could go a 6-pack of profiteroles
  27. You can actually see Melissa’s spirit leave her body when Nasser suggests to name her grandchild after him
  28. Sarah said that they ‘had sex’ rather than that they were ‘intimate’. Kick her off the show immediately
  29. Justin’s haircut suggest her could be a Packer for sure
  30. I want Sarah & Telv to be my mum and dad
  31. “Yeah the boys” as if Dean could get any worse
  32. Dean ‘The Love Doctor’ is in
  33. Once open mic is suggested, everyone looks as though they want to get blown away by an actual hurricane
  34. Is it possible to cringe fully back inside yourself?
  35. Rapping is never welcome at a dinner party
  36. Tracey has genuine feelings, just not in her face
  37. It’s quite shocking that Nasser has never lived with a woman
  38. Nasser is about 10 times worse than Dean
  39. Their relationship is none of anyone’s business. Except for the millions of people watching at home
  40. Nasser’s vibes are a little bit off the mark
  41. Nasser is putting his size 5 foot down
  42. Has Carly been sitting on the table all night?
  43. Gabby deserves all of the hugs
  44. Bad luck Donald Duck is the worst good catchphrase ever said
  45. Can’t wait to see which epic prank is #1

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Image credit: 9Now 

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