Horoscopes: Your Co(s)mic Week Ahead

By Steph Lenehan
10th Jan 2017

Hey hey little friends! It's 2017 and we’re still here to hold your hand and push you through the struggles and hustles and bustles of life. Not unlike the Friends theme song, we too will be there for you.


Well, you’ve made it this far so that’s a good start. The week ahead is forecast to be cloudy with a chance of disagreement between you and probably everyone you come across. Try staying out of arguments by stuffing your mouth with food.

Where you need to go this weekend: This place will raise the steaks.


You’ve had a great few days returning those unwanted presents and finally removing all traces of tinsel. But ever since your mum pointed out how ugly your interior is, you can’t stop noticing. Let’s get some colour happening or at the very least, hide as much of your hideous couch with as many cushions will fit.

Where you need to go this weekend: Snobby house guest approval homewares.


This week is looking pretty promising, you will be feeling as fresh as an iOs update with new emoji’s to boot. While you’re on a streak try something new, fun, and healthy for you.

Where you need to go this weekend: It's hard to feel down flipping in the air here.


Your generosity has been dwindling lately, and no, a post on a friend’s Facebook wall for their birthday is not enough. Loosen the purse strings a little and take them out. Please note: if none of your friends have birthdays soon, take someone out and celebrate them for maintaining their youth.

Where you need to go this weekend: Give a little, get a lot here.


Intuition guides you away from doing stupid things this week. If only you had that gut-feeling last week when you said it would be fun to go camping with no wi-fi. Now that you’re back to civilisation make the most of it.

Where you need to go this weekend: Ahhh, city bliss and food from a kitchen here.


Smiling at strangers and wearing annoyingly bright jumpers will be your specialty this week. Your whimsical nature must flourish!

Where you need to go this weekend: Come here for the food and well, stay for the food too.


Envy clouds your vision this week. So buy a new pair of sunglasses to get a better view. While you’re wearing your new shades someone will mistake you for being cool. Take them some place awesome to prove them right.

Where you need to go this weekend: The coolest of the cool can be found here.


You and finance will not mix well this week. Why you insisted on seeing the new Star Wars movie six times is beyond us. But you do you, and you deserve nice things. We recommend making friends with a Gemini and telling them it's your birthday.

Where you need to go this weekend: You can have all the treats here.


Scorpio, your need for adventure is overwhelming atm. You want to feel the sand in your toes, air in your lungs and climb trees, but you live in the city and work full time. We suggest a funky alternative.

Where you need to go this weekend: Kind of camping kind of not, can be found here.


Saturn is flicking some nice little lovey vibes your way this week. We predict brand new love interests will be introduced. May be with a person, maybe a bottle of red.  

Where you need to go this weekend: This place will make you feel fine.


It’s not even February and you’ve emptied your savings and gave up hot showers to keep up your brunch addiction. With Neptune crossing your starry borders this week you will the hard way the difference between value and worth. But, chances are you’ve already blown your data and won’t have a way to get our awesome tip anyway.

Where you need to go this weekend: Picnic in the sun, much more fun.


There’s stifling pressure at work this week, that of course, you’ll bring home with you and even your pet won’t want to be in the same room with you. Even the funniest of memes won’t crack a smile. We know a place you can go that will put a smile on your dial.

Where you need to go this weekend: Burgers and fries and all things nice, here.

Image credit: Gabrielle Stjernqvist

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