Funny

Overheard In Melbourne This Week

By Clare Acheson - 23 Mar 2016

St Paddy's Day, Friday's big-ass rainstorm and getting to grips with your third eye. Melbourne, what a week it's been... Here are our favourite hilarious overheard conversations this week.  

After yoga, while sipping complimentary coconut water...

Girl 1: I got my third eye needled yesterday.
Girl 2: What does that do? 
Girl 1: Realigns your pituitary.
Girl 2: *looks blankly into her coconut water*

St Patrick’s Day 

Scottish guy: People mistake me for Irish all the time.
His mate: Do you care?
Scottish guy: Of course I care! I’m going to have my OWN day. I’m going to buy a bottle of scotch. And a big cake…
His mate: But isn’t that, like, your average Friday night?

Girl: But what did St Patrick actually do?
Guy: He chased out all the snakes from Ireland! And gave us culture, and stuff.
Girl: And somebody made him a saint for that?
Guy: Look, if you’re not going to go with it, you can hand me back that Guinness hat right now…

Friday's Freak Rainstorm

Girl 1: Urgh, what a way to start a Friday.
Girl 2: I know. Wtf, Melbourne?!
Girl 1: I think I'm going to have to ditch the summer wedges for good after all those puddles.
Girl 2: 
THAT’S IT, SUMMER’S OFFICIALLY OVER.

'Artisanal' Doughnuts 

Person 1: I don’t get these doughnuts, I mean, they don’t really taste fried?
Person 2: Ah, but they’re artisanal doughnuts.
Person 1: And by that, do you mean they’re a small cake with a hole in the middle, pretending to be a doughnut?

The problem with dumplings

Girl: I looooove dumplings, but the problem with them is that they’re just so…
Guy: Easy to eat a million of them?
Girl: Yes, but no. They’re just So. Beige. 

Golden Plains Survivors

Girl 1: I ran into sooo many people I hadn't seen in ages over the weekend!
Girl 2: Yeah, me too. Luckily I ran into most of them on Saturday, before that guy with the fire sticks singed my hair. 
Girl 1: That *could* be a festival fashion thing though, right? 

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Image credit: Real Housewives of Orange County

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