Melbourne is an eclectic city, known for its fashion prowess. Sydneysiders come here to marvel at our chic sense of style, and also to complain about the weather.
(Hey, whatever keeps them in Sydney, right?)
So, we thought it was high time we deliver your 2017 fashion trends by suburb – because we know you guys. And we know there ain’t no one in Prahran rocking Doc Martens no matter what Vogue might tell us.
Here’s your recommended lewk for this cold season, based on what suburb you live in. To be taken with a healthy dose of humour…
Whatever was in the latest Uniqlo drop, paired with a $5,000 luxury bag. May swap luxury bag for Sneakerboy’s latest drop, if over $1,000 a pair.
Wear your name-brand activewear to brunch, sure, but make sure you pair it with a backpack that can fit your laptop in it. Because you ARE northside after all...
You’ll need a puffer jacket to go with that #ootd. But not from H&M, that’s for basic bitches.
Make like a hip hop dancer and wear a matching double stripe tracksuit set, because you’re basically a 90s hype girl now.
No Gucci logo tees here, so tacky. You prefer your clothes expensive without the name brand. May I suggest popping into APC after your visit to Readings?
If you’re not going super-bougie with your latest Gucci purchase, you’re wearing white sneakers with mum jeans. But not Stans, they’re so last season.
You simply MUST match your activewear with your $1000 pram and your designer dog. French Bulldogs are SO last season, so you gotta trade it in for a Cavoodle. Hey, we didn’t make the rules.
You go for the classic North Face puffer because you’re too interested in other things to bother with #fashun. Trends are for the bourgeoisie (See: South Side).
You should match your shiny black puffer jacket to your shiny black leggings and your shiny black visor with a shiny blonde ponytail out the back. You do, however, have a choice of footwear: Nike Roshe runners or rose gold birks only.
Whatever you picked up off the floor last weekend, layered to all shit, and in as many mismatched colours as possible. If you can manage to flash a nip, please do – impractical as it may be in winter.
More suggestions welcome on our Facebook comments because we just can’t cover them ALL...
To check out everything else high fashion, head right here.
Image credit: Brook Cagle